Distant Starlight
by ClandestinePen
Summary: Edward has left Bella, and she is broken. But even in her sorrow, she is not forgotten. Someone has been sending her letters...one every day since Edward left. Alternate take on New Moon with Bella/Jasper relationship.
1. Chapter 1  Canaries

Charlie was the one who opened the first yellow envelope that arrived in the mailbox the day after Edward left. I was as good as dead, wrapped in a ragged quilt alternating between nightmares and an even more destitute reality. He saw my name penned on the paper, "Miss Bella Swan," and promptly ripped the cheery envelope in half. I can imagine him turning the contents over in his calloused fingers, his eyes scrutinizing the angle of each careful fold as he searched for the dangers only a father's mind could produce. After concluding that it was an odd but safe package, he returned it to the envelope and did his best to tape it back for me.

The letter was placed in the corner of the tv tray next to my bed when I awoke at dusk. It was under a pile of napkins tucked neatly behind a bowl of soup and a slice of richly dark bread. Steam still rose from the bowl, so I knew that Charlie had been in recently.

When I spied it, I snatched it from the tray as the napkins floated to the floor. I knew it had to be from Edward. He was going to apologize and ask me to meet him tonight. But when I tore the envelope open, the contents dropped into my lap. A metallic gold paper folded into the shape of a five point star, and a piece of parchment paper. I unfolded the paper and read:

"I'm so sorry. -J"

My chest grew heavy as fresh, hot tears spilled effortlessly down my cheeks. I had no patience for Jacob. I didn't have it in me to appreciate the gesture. I tossed all of it under my bed and fell back to the empty embrace of my pillow.

The next day, a second yellow envelope appeared in our mailbox. Charlie didn't screen this one and I didn't open it. When it arrived with the dinner I wouldn't eat, I tossed it under my bed.

Every day that week, there was a yellow envelope on my dinner tray. Every day it was tossed under my bed to join the others.

After that first week, the physical evidence of Edward's absence, the fever and chills from the night in the woods, was gone and Charlie insisted that I return to school. It was unbearable. I shuffled from class to class only to stare at the vacant seat next to mine where Edward should have been instead of listening to the teachers. But even as much as I stared at those empty desks, it was no comparison to the eyes that were trained on me. I would catch the whisper of my name in the halls as I passed by Jessica. Once or twice, Mike tried to initiate conversation but soon gave up. I was unreachable.

I all but ran to my truck as soon as the last bell rang, eager to escape the stares of my classmates. It would roar to life and carry me away.

The house felt right when it was empty. As much as I wanted to be alone, laying in the bed that I had shared with Edward only amplified my pain. Since I was sitting alone at lunch now, I managed to finish most of my homework at school. This left my late afternoons free. I had grown tired of canned soup and reheated pizza, so after I returned to school I also started cooking again. Cutting and blending was cathartic; entertaining my hands and distracting me from my heavy thoughts.

"Bells?" Charlie called out as he came through the front door every evening. "I have your canary." He handed me a yellow envelope and smiled warmly. He must have known that Jake was behind this, and was pleased at the thought.

I took the paper from him and waited for him to head to his room to change out of his uniform. Then I rushed upstairs and put it with the others, still unopened.

After dinner was finished and the plates were washed and put away, I would to go my room and struggle to stay awake. I knew that sleep was inevitable and that with it would come the nightmares, but that never stopped me from trying. Edward could take his gifts and his picture, but he could never erase himself from my life. The truth is that he was a part of me and I will never be the same.


	2. Chapter 2 Chili

Charlie and I continued with this new normal, even though I was languishing. I was down to about four hours of sleep a night, and those were interrupted by the recurring nightmares. I awoke for the day around five in the morning and left for school before Charlie came down for breakfast. I would meander down the streets as the sun came up before I finally turned to the direction of school.

Having dinner on the table when Charlie came home from work, coupled with the fact that I spoke to no one at school, meant that I only had to share company for about ninety minutes every evening. The other 22.5 hours, my thoughts would always return to Edward.

He was out there, somewhere in the world. Was he as broken as me? Had he moved on? Was I just a toy to him, to be tossed aside when he lost interest?

Seven weeks and two days after Edward left, I made chili for dinner. The wind outside bit bare skin like a snake, but the familiar warm smell was a comfort. Charlie was about twenty minutes later than usual. I was curled up on the couch where I had been trying to read the same page in my book for close to an hour, but the words just didn't make any sense. He tossed a yellow envelope on the cushion next to me and trampled up the stairs to his room to change.

I took my book and envelope upstairs to my own room. I still hadn't opened any of the envelopes since the first one, but I now had close to fifty. I'd moved the pile into a shoebox in my closet. I didn't know what Jacob had hoped to accomplish with the mail, but the unintentional consequence was that, accounting for Sundays, I now had a very visible reminder of how long it had been since Edward left. If I ever moved on enough to lose the count I kept in my mind, I could just look at my shoebox.

I was back in the kitchen and spooning chili into bowls when Charlie reappeared. He didn't say anything, just pulled out his chair and sank into it, resting his forehead on his fist and staring at the checkered place mat in front of him. Maybe we wouldn't have to make small talk during this meal. That would have been a relief.

"What are your plans for this weekend, Bella?" he asked when I set his bowl in front of him.

"Homework," I replied as I sat down to pick at my food. I didn't have much of an appetite these days.

"I was planning to go to see Billy on Saturday to go fishing. Why don't you come along? You could spend some time with Jacob," he said.

"That's okay. I have a big book report coming up," I said. I needed to change the subject. "How was work?"

"I think it would do you some good to get out of the house," he said.

"I think my grades would suffer if I didn't get this work done," I said.

"Look Bella," he said as he dropped his spoon back into his bowl, "I'm worried about you. I stopped in the hardware store today and had a talk with the Newton boy..."

"You're checking up on me?" I asked with an edge to my voice.

"Of course I am! You're my daughter!" he boomed uncharacteristically. "You never go out with your friends. You never even talk on the phone. And now, I'm hearing that you don't even talk to anybody in school. It's just not like you, Bella! It's not how a teenage girl is supposed to be."

"No offense Dad, but why don't you let me decide how I'm supposed to act."

He stood up abruptly and started to pace the kitchen. He started to speak a few times before he dropped the bomb. "I don't know how to do this. Whatever you need, I don't have it. I'm calling your mother. Maybe she can help you because I sure as hell can't."

"So you're giving up on me?" I yelled. "Sure, it's nice to have me here to cook and clean for you. But when I can't be perfectly cheery you just box me up and send me back like a defective car part? No wonder Mom left. She wanted more from life than being an unpaid servant!"

As soon as the words left my lips, I knew I screwed up. Charlie turned around and walked out of the kitchen without another word. I heard the front door slam and his car start. He drove off into the rapidly approaching night.

Tears were as much a part of my existence as breathing now, so I let them fall without regard as I cleared the table. I put Charlie's portion in the fridge, hoping that he would eat it when he got home. As I washed the dinner pot, I thought about what he had said. Maybe I would be better off living with Mom. Then again, i had left her so that she could be happy. If taking care of boring but content Bella was difficult for her, how would she handle heartbroken and morose Bella? Maybe it would be better if I could just start college now.

I waited for him, but an hour had passed and he still hadn't returned. I knew I needed to apologize to him. He cared about me, of that I was sure. But I couldn't stay in the house alone anymore. I shrugged back into my coat and headed out to my truck.

I wasn't sure where I wanted to go, only that I didn't want to stay in Forks. I needed fresh sights to clear my mind. At first, I thought that I would go to Port Angeles, but once I got there I just stayed on 101 and passed right through town. I wasn't ready to get out yet.

Soon after Port Angeles came Sequim. I had never been here before, and since it was a school night I was hopeful I wouldn't run into anyone I knew. Right inside town was a small coffee shop. The parking lot had a sparse collection of cars, which meant that I wouldn't be alone but I also wouldn't be crowded. It was perfect.

Warm breads and fresh coffee filled the air as I stepped through the door. The counter was on the right, and in the far left corner was a small stage currently occupied by a woman with warm skin and long blond hair gently strumming her polished black acoustic guitar.

I originally intended to just buy a hot chocolate so I could have a reason to stay, but when I stepped up to order I noticed a tall man in an all-black uniform gently placing muffins in a display case.

"Still warm," said the lady standing in front of me to take my order when she notice my stare.

"I'll take a blueberry and a hot chocolate," I said. She smiled wide enough to multiply the soft lines around her eyes. She tucker her long gray hair behind her ear and gave me my total. Here, in this town, I wasn't Bella Swan: Edward's discarded ex. I was just a girl who wanted a muffin. This stranger could smile at me without pity or expectation. For the first time in weeks, I smiled back.

With my treats in hand, I walked toward the stage to find an empty table. I saw one with a nice view of the stage, but before I could make it all the way there I was stopped in my tracks. Sitting in the table in front of mine was a familiar man with honey-blond hair. Almost as soon as I stopped, his head whipped around to face me, like he heard me stop. Or rather, he felt my heart begin to race.

For a moment, Jasper looked shocked, but he quickly straightened his features and rose from his seat. He pulled out the chair next to his. "Would you like to join me, Bella?"


	3. Chapter 3 Coffee and a Muffin

**For a moment, Jasper looked shocked, but he quickly straightened his features and rose from his seat. He pulled out the chair next to his. "Would you like to join me, Bella?"**

I hesitated, but then I felt the pounding in my chest start to relax.

"If I do, will you keep the mind control to yourself?" I asked him before I lost my nerve.

He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, and then his eyes softened and I felt his influence slip away. "Of course," he said politely, still holding the chair.

I nodded and took the seat that he then scooted up to the table. He returned to his own chair, but kept a careful distance. After a moment of awkward silence, he gestured to the stage. "Talented, isn't she? She was barely able to play her first song because her hands were shaking so much, but look at her now. I stopped helping her twenty minutes ago. Now that she knows she has it in her and she isn't afraid anymore. It's amazing to watch."

"Are all of you back?" I asked bluntly.

"No," he said with his eyes still on the stage. "Just me."

"What are you doing here?"

"Working on my people skills," he said with a hint of a smile.

I shook my head. "No, not in this coffee house. What are you doing in Washington?" I asked.

"There are some loose ends that need to be tied up," he said. "Your cocoa is cooling."

He was right. The once steamy beverage was reduced to little wisps. "I don't mind," I said as I brought the cup to my lips and blew across the surface softly before taking a sip. "I don't really like it hot anyway, but you can't order warm chocolate."

He looked at me and chuckled softly. "I don't suppose that you can."

"Where's Alice?" I asked. "I didn't get to see her before...before she left," I finished uncertainly.

His face grew serious then, and he looked back toward the stage. "She is with the rest of the family. After the move, a few of us decided to take some time away."

By his tone, I knew that I had tread beyond his comfort zone. So I turned my attention to my muffin. I broke off a piece and ate it, savoring the warm gooey blueberries. I suddenly felt hungry. Really hungry. I ripped off another piece and savored it far more briefly.

"What brings you to a coffee house over an hour from your home?" Jasper asked.

"Chance?" I replied. "I just got in my truck and drove. I wanted to be somewhere...else. I didn't want to be alone exactly, but I didn't want to be around anyone I knew. I stopped at the first place that looked...right. I don't know how to explain it."

"I think I understand," he said. "Would you like me to leave?"

I almost blurted out a polite "Of course not!" but I held my tongue. I needed to really consider this. On one hand, being with Jasper was a link to Edward that I craved. On the other, if he hadn't attacked me then Edward would still be in Forks with me. Wouldn't he?

"If I asked you to leave...would you leave? Like, completely leave me alone now and in the future?" I asked.

"I won't follow you around and sneak in your window without permission, if that's what you're asking," he said as he turned to face me. "I have some business here, so I can't leave Washington permanently yet. But while I'm here, I would avoid contact with you to the best of my ability, starting by walking out of this coffee shop."

Looking into his amber eyes, I felt his sincerity and I realized that I really didn't want him to leave. At least not yet. Talking with him now was like sipping cool water after seven weeks and two days of wandering through the dry desert heat. I may have a terribly painful sunburn, but at least for now I didn't feel dehydrated. He didn't pity me for Edward's leaving, nor did he expect me to act as if it didn't happen. It was refreshing.

"I don't want you to leave," I said finally, locking into his gaze.

"I'm glad to hear that," he said. "If you change your mind, just say the word."

The music stopped and we both turned toward the stage. We clapped as the blond took a modest bow and thanked the audience. As the applause started to wane, my stomach let out an embarrassingly loud growl. I could feel my cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

"There's an Italian restaurant nearby," he said.

"No, I don't want to eat in an actual restaurant alone; a coffee shop is bad enough," I said. Besides, I didn't really want to go to an Italian restaurant like the one Edward had taken me to in Port Angeles.

"You're not alone here. You're sitting with me," he replied. "What about take-out? I bought some Chinese food a few nights ago and the patrons seemed pleased."

"But you don't eat."

"I don't drink coffee either," he said holding up his cup. "It's like paying for a foul-smelling movie ticket to me. It gives me a reason to be there."

I was starving and I hadn't had Chinese take-out since I moved to Forks. If I didn't cook dinner, then it was usually pizza or burgers. If Jasper really wanted to bite me and drain me of my blood, he wouldn't need General Tso's Chicken to do it. He could force me to do whatever he wanted. I nodded my agreement.

Walking out the door of the coffee shop was like walking to another world of cold darkness. My breath solidified on front of me and then dissipated into the still air. Jasper walked briskly ahead of me to the driver's side of my truck. I was about to protest any idea he had of driving, but he simply held the door open for me. Aside from him giving me directions, we were almost silent as I drove to the quaint restaurant with a glowing neon "OPEN" sign in the window.

"Be right back," he said as he opened the door.

"No way. You're not paying for my dinner," I said as I reached for the seat belt buckle.

He swallowed hard and looked away. "I just...I need a moment. Please?"

"Okay."

He was back in no time with a large brown paper bag. The delicious smell permeated the air and made my mouth water. He opened his door and put the bag on his seat long enough to slough off his coat. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt and a honey colored scarf. He held the coat out to me.

"I need to crack my window, and I don't want you to be cold," he explained.

I accepted and then tore into my food. At first, I only grew more hungry with each bite, but somewhere between the egg rolls and the Moo Goo Gai Pan I started to feel satiated.

"I have a confession," Jasper said, breaking the silent. For a moment, I had forgotten that he was in the truck or that I was in a parking lot over an hour from home. "I did my best to respect your space and only come to Forks when you would be in school or in the middle of the night. But, I was hoping that I would get a chance to talk to you before I left."

"Why?"

"I want to apologize. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for almost hurting you physically...and for everything else that has happened since. There are many things that I have done and regret, but attacking you..."

I stared at him and let my chopsticks fall back into the warm red and white paper container on my lap. "You don't have to apologize," I said. "You couldn't control yourself."

"But I need to," he said. "I need to learn how to control myself so that I'm never a danger to you or any other human again."

I could feel the intensity of his eyes as he watched me for a reaction. "I forgive you," I said. And I meant it, because I could tell he had meant his words.

"Thank you," he said softly, and then he turned to stare out into the darkness.

"Friends?" I asked as I extended my hand to him.

"Friends," he agreed, taking my hand gently into his and shaking it. His skin was cool and hard like Edwards, but I could feel callouses on his fingers. His life before becoming a vampire must not have been pampered. He had the hands of a man that worked for a living.

Having a full stomach, as satisfying as it was, made my eyelids grow heavy and my breathing slow. As much as I usually tried to avoid sleep, I wished I could have slipped peacefully into slumber.

"May I drive you home?" Jasper asked. He didn't have to be empathic to see that I was exhausted. "You can sleep on the way."

"I...I don't really want to sleep...I've been having nightmares," I said, and I could have instantly slapped myself. Why did I tell him about the nightmares?

"I could help you with that," he said. "I can't change the content of your dreams, but I can alter the way you react to them...if you want that. I won't force you, but I would really feel more comfortable if you would at least let me drive."

I really didn't want to drive. I wanted a soft pillow and at least fourteen hours of dreamless and restful sleep. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that," I said as I scooted over to the passenger side. Jasper rolled up the window and then went around the truck to the driver's side.

He looked at me for a brief moment and then took off his scarf. He tossed it over to me as he cracked the window and turned up the heat. I remember putting on the scarf and buckling my seat belt as he pulled out of the parking lot. The next thing I knew, we were back in Forks.


	4. Chapter 4 A Scarf and A Napkin

**Hello readers! First off, I want to thank everyone that has taken the time to read the story and especially those that took the extra time to leave feedback. I'm overwhelmed to say the least. Second, I want to apologize for taking so long to figure out how the other writers wrote notes at the beginning of each chapter. I thought there was a text box or something that I was missing. How silly do I feel? Third, I'm sorry that I took so long to update. Real life has been getting in the way this week, leaving me emotionally exhausted and not up for writing. I plan to get chapter five up before the weekend is out. **

**To answer a couple questions: Yes, Bella will open the envelopes. I promise. Not this chapter, but I'm getting there. ;) And I do want to make her stronger here than she was in the books. I don't want her to leap from being dependent on Edward to being dependent on Jasper. She needs to learn to lean on herself a little bit. I hope I can do that notion justice. **

**Thanks again, fellow fans! **

**~~ Now, onto the chapter! :  
**

_I was standing in a meadow. No, I was standing in our meadow. I could hear Edward's voice, but no matter where I turned I couldn't find him._

_"I won't come back," he kept repeating. "It will be as if I'd never existed."_

_The flowers that once bloomed around us withered in front of me. The sunlight faded away into darkness. I panicked for a moment, but then I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. They weren't Edward's, because I could still hear his words in the distance somewhere. I let myself fall back into them, and they cradled me. It reminded me of fighting off cold winter winds with piles of handmade quilts. Even if Edward wanted to leave, and even if the future was dark, I felt safe._

"Bella?"

I jumped at the sound of my name and left my dream far behind. I looked around and recognized a street sign. We were back in Forks.

"You're almost home," Jasper whispered.

"How are you doing?" If I weren't still groggy I think I would have laughed at how nonchalantly I just asked him how much he wanted to kill me.

"Relatively well," he replied. "Are you warm enough?"

I nodded and slipped out of his coat. We were merely a block from Charlie's house. My headlights bounced off of the lights on the top of his car. At least he was home.

"Your father is awake and worried. He isn't angry anymore," Jasper said quietly. "I'll duck out as soon as we pull up. I don't want to complicate your evening."

"When will I see you again?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him again, but I was sure that I didn't want that decision made for me.

"I'll leave my phone number in your truck," he said. "If you need anything, or just want to talk, I'm always up."

I smiled a little as I handed his coat to him. The truck glided to a stop and the engine fell silent. I looked over to Jasper, and his amber eyes met mine. It was almost hypnotic, the way he could hold my gaze. In the blink of an eye, he was gone with an open door in his place. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and slid out of the truck myself.

Charlie opened the door before I even reached the porch, alerted by my roaring engine. Behind him, I heard the electronic hum of the television apparently muted. He opened the door wide and backed away to give me a wide entry. I entered in silence and he closed the door behind me and latched the deadbolt.

"Where have you been? I've had the patrolling officers looking for you," he said with a strained calm.

"I needed to get away from Forks, so I drove to Port Angeles," I said. It was technically true, even if I didn't stop there. "I'm sorry."

"You're eighteen, Bella. I guess I can't stop you," he said sourly.

"No. I mean, I'm sorry for what I said. And I'm sorry I worried you. I just...I needed some space to think."

He sighed and gestured to the sofa. I walked over and sat down as he flipped off the television and fell into his recliner.

"I'm sorry too, Bells," he said. "I just feel like I'm failing you. I don't know how to...fix this. I don't have the answers."

"I don't either," I said honestly. "But I want to stay here. I want to live with you."

"Bella..." he started, searching for the words, "I don't think he's coming back."

"I know he's not," I snapped. I paused to take a breath, and then continued, "I hate the way that everyone here looks at me since he left, but at least I can come home and escape from it. If I went back to live with Mom, she would never want to talk about anything else...and I don't want to talk about Edward anymore."

"You might be right about that," he said as he leaned back. "But if you want to stay here, there are going to be some changes. First rule is that we are going to split the chores. You aren't my maid. I survived for years alone here and I know how to wash a bowl or run a vacuum. We'll make a chart or something. Does that sound fair?"

I just nodded. He had obviously put a lot of though into this and I didn't want to interrupt him.

"Second, you may be an adult but you are also my daughter. If you plan to go out to Port Angeles, I would appreciate a note. I'll do the same. Fair?"

I nodded again. The rules seemed to be as much for him as they were for me.

"Third, you have to remember that I've never been a teenage girl. You were right. I don't know how you are supposed to act or feel. If I'm not doing right by you, I need you to speak up. Fair?"

"Yeah Dad, I will," I said. "Thanks."

"It's late Bella. Go on up and get some sleep. I'm...uh...I'm glad you're safe," he said. He gave me a small smile, but he was clearly uncomfortable. This was as close to a declaration of love as my father got, and I appreciated it. As I ascended the staircase that night, my choice to stay in Forks felt right.

What didn't feel right was my bed. I was exhausted beyond words on the way home, but now that I was finally in my own bed and I couldn't be more awake. I heard Charlie settle into his own room and soon the familiar chorus of soft snoring filled the air.

I glanced over to the rocking chair by my window where Jasper's scarf lay draped over the arm. Charlie was rather unobservant for a cop, and hadn't asked about it. I crept out of bed and gingerly picked it up. The yarn was soft against my fingers, so soft that I brought it up to my face. It caressed my cheek and I inhaled deeply. The gentle scent was pleasantly woodsy and sweet, like cedar and magnolias. Was this what Jasper smelled like?

I wondered if his number was in my truck, like he had promised. Maybe he had just said that to get me out of his hair. I suddenly felt like I couldn't be sure of anything anymore. Had I really spent the evening with him? Even with his scarf in my hands, I somehow doubted myself.

I shoved my slippers on, picked up my keys and slipped out into the hallway. I lightly made my way downstairs and to the back door, since I knew that door was far quieter to open than the front. Once outside in the brisk air, I moved faster toward my truck.

I slowly pried the door open and peered inside. I didn't see any obvious paper out of place on the seat. I climbed in and checked my glove box. No note. I was right. He had spoken with me only to be polite and drove me home only because it was the decent thing to do.

Without a real reason, I pulled down the visor to check the mirror. Maybe I wanted to solidify this moment, burn the memory of this new rejection into my soul. Maybe it was just habit triggered by sitting in the driver's seat. Whatever the reason, as I did a white paper napkin fell into my lap. The jade-colored dragon logo from the Chinese restaurant was embossed on the front. Just to the right were seven numbers elegantly handwritten and signed with a J. He kept his promise. Jasper left his number in my truck, just like he told me he would.

I made it back into my room without disturbing Charlie. The number was copied to the back of a business card I still had in my wallet from a bookstore in Phoenix. I picked a thick and heavy book from the shelf next to my bed and pressed the napkin between the pages.

As I climbed into bed, I briefly entertained the idea of calling Jasper, but I quickly dismissed it. Just knowing that I could was satisfying enough.


	5. Chapter 5 Parts

For the first time in months, I was roused from a deep sleep by my alarm clock. By the time I made it downstairs, Charlie had left for work. A simple brown paper lunch sack was sitting on my place mat. A sweet aroma escaped as I opened it and found a large banana nut muffin inside. He must have woke up early to visit the bakery before I got up. He was taking the splitting of responsibilities seriously, even if he had to be resourceful to fulfill his half. .

School was no different than usual, except that it didn't grate against my nerves the way it usually did. I waved to Angela as I passed their table at lunch. Jessica was practically bouncing in her seat as she discussed plans for the weekend. Angela motioned for me to join them, but I held up my books and sat again at the Cullen's empty table.

I didn't get much homework accomplished. I leaned over the textbook with a pencil in my hand, but I couldn't concentrate on the words. I just kept turning the events of the former night over in my mind. I wondered what business was keeping Jasper here, and what he had meant by the Cullens taking "time away" from each other. How much heartache had I caused them?

As soon as the last bell rang I was rushing to my truck to hurry home. I had decided that I was going to call Jasper before Charlie got home. I had too many unanswered questions, and the perfect excuse: I had Jasper's scarf.

I turned the corner down the street to Charlie's house and noticed an unfamiliar car parked in front of the yard. Pulling closer, I recognized the form leaning against the car and smiling at me. I pulled into the driveway.

"How are you doing, Jake?" I asked as he opened my door. He smiled brilliantly and scooped me up into a hug.

"I've missed you," he said as he released me. "Are you busy?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"I found a motorcycle up here. It needs fixing up, but I got it for a great price," he said.

"You need transportation for it?" I asked.

"I can't fit it in the backseat of my car, but I can trade for unlimited rides once it's finished," he said hopefully.

I really wanted to call Jasper, but it wasn't like he was going to be in bed later. Jacob had been sending letters, even if they were unwanted and unread, for weeks and I felt like the least I could do is spend some time with him. Maybe if I could convince him that I was fine, he would stop with the letters. I went in the house to drop off my backpack and write a note to Charlie.

He wasn't kidding when he said that the bike needed work. Even my untrained eye could spot several empty areas near the engine that should contain parts of some sort, but Jacob was thrilled with it. He lifted it easily into the back of my truck and we were off to the Reservation.

"What have you been up to?" he asked me after he ran out of steam describing his plans for the bike.

"Not much," I replied honestly. "How about you?"

"School. Working on the car. The usual," he said. "I've been thinking about you."

"I know," I said a little harshly. Should I bring up the letters or just trust him to stop?

He chuckled and looked out the window. "I'm serious though," he said. "Your dad is worried. He's been talking to my dad about it. I'm sorry about whatever you're going through."

"Thanks, Jacob, but I'm fine," I said. "You think it will be worth it to fix up the bike? It sounds expensive." He was swept back up in his scheme for the rest of the drive.

When we arrived at his house, he unloaded the motorcycle and showed me to the garage behind the house. He offered me a can of soda and started at once to take the motor apart. Every so often, I asked him about what he was doing, but mostly I watched. In a crude way, it was almost artful the way he knew his way around the twisted metal and wires. I don't think I'd ever felt as consumed as Jacob was with doing something he loved. I leaned back into the threadbare sofa pushed against the far wall and sipped my beverage in admiration. By the time he was finished the sunlight was fading in the tiny workshop. Jacob brandished a list of necessary parts he scribbled in a dilapidated spiral notebook.

"Think it will be worth it?" he asked.

"For you, I think it will," I said with a smile.

He led me into the house, where I surprised to find Charlie sitting in the living room room with Billy.

"Hey, Bells," he said as we came in. "I got your note and thought it would be nice to come join you. I brought pizza." Charlie was entirely too excited about the prospect of me spending time with Jacob.

Before I could come up with a response Jacob had a plate of warm pizza that he was pushing into my hands, his own mouth already full of food. I thanked him and took the offered food. The savory scent reminded me of how hungry I was. After dinner, Jacob suggested a quick walk on the beach before I had to drive him back to Charlie's to pick up his car.

"Do you ever take it for granted?" I asked him as we trekked through the sand.

"Take what for granted?" he asked.

"Living right next to the largest ocean in the world," I said, staring out over the gentle waves. "It's pretty amazing. You can look out here and see nothing but water and sky. It reminds me of how small I am; that the world is so big. It's breathtaking."

"I think I do sometimes," he said as he slowed his pace to look out. "It's nice to be reminded."

We came up to a large piece of driftwood and sat together for a while, gazing at the hypnotic motion of the water in front of us. I remembered reading that the ocean was named the Pacific because it was beautiful and peaceful, and I felt that there with Jacob. He remained silent, taking in the beauty with me.

I had fallen in love with a man...a vampire...that no longer loved me back. Maybe he never loved me in the first place. I was no longer sure of Edward's intentions. I've spent countless hours pining over him, but it hasn't changed anything except me. Edward may be immortal, but my time was limited. I had to start living again. Things wouldn't be the same, because I wasn't the same, I needed to find a new kind of normal that would let me drink in the sweetness of life.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jacob asked.

"I'm thinking about how insignificant I am," I said.

"You aren't insignificant," he said as he draped his heavy arm across my shoulders. "Anyone that would hurt you is insignificant, but you are not insignificant, Bella."

"Maybe my problems are insignificant, then," I said with a smile.

"Maybe the cause is," he muttered.

I playfully elbowed him in the ribs and he kicked sand on my shoes. We both erupted in laughter, and it felt damn good. I wished I hadn't put off seeing Jacob for so long, but I don't think I would have appreciated him if I had seen him before that night. I was finally ready to start being alive again.

We kept the conversation light on the way back to the truck and eventually back to Charlie's. We rehashed the summers I used to spend with Charlie when we would play an uncounted number of variations of tag or explore the woods behind his house. He was recounting a particularly embarrassing story about me getting my shoes stuck in a deep mud hole when I pulled up to the house.

"Thanks for the ride, Bells," he said as he stepped down from the truck.

"Thanks for spending the day with me," I said sincerely. "I think it was just what I needed."

He pulled me in for another quick hug before he got in his car and drove off into the night. Jacob Black was refreshing, like the big brother I never had. Spending time with him was like shining a light into the darkness in my soul.

Charlie went to bed early that night, but not before slipping that day's yellow envelope under my door. I tossed it in the pile with the rest and waited anxiously for his breathing to get slow and heavy. Once I was sure he was asleep, I pulled out the book from the night before and turned to the pages concealing the napkin. Before I lost my nerve, I dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jasper," I said.

"Bella? Is everything alright?" he asked with a touch of urgency.

"Everything is fine," I said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm well," he said, his voice returning to normal. "How was your day?"

I told him briefly about visiting with Jacob before asking about his day.

"A little frustrating. I feel like I've spent most of the day running in circles, but I'm at a poetry slam in Seattle this evening. It's quite inspiring."

"A poetry slam? Are you a poet?" I asked, trying to hide my surprise.

"I'm just an observer tonight," he said, amused. "I'm still working on my people skills."

"How is that going for you?" I asked with a little hesitation.

"I can sense at least a small improvement every day," he said seriously.

I wasn't quite sure what to say, so the conversation lapsed into an awkward silence. "Are you busy this weekend?" I blurted out.

"Nothing that can't wait," he said. "What can I do for you?"

"I have your scarf. I wanted to give it back," I said clumsily.

"You can have it, if you want it," he said softly. "If you don't, you could just leave it in the bed of your truck tomorrow night. I'll be in the area."

"Oh..." I hadn't counted on him not wanting to see me. Why would I assume something like that?

"If you aren't busy tomorrow night, I'm going to a bookstore in Port Angeles to hear a jazz band. Would you like to come with me?"

Was this a courtesy invitation? I didn't care. My curiosity was getting the better of me and I wanted the chance to find out more about the Cullens. I accepted.

The next morning Charlie was up before the sun to prepare for his fishing trip with Billy. His stirring woke me up, and I came downstairs.

"You change your mind, Bells?" he asked, obviously pleased.

"I finished my homework at school," I said. While I would never be attracted to Jake in the way my father hoped, I realized the night before that he was a valuable friend. Getting out of the house, away from all the things that reminded me of Edward, seemed to be just what I needed.

I drove separately from Charlie, because he would inevitably want to go to the Clearwaters' for dinner and I had other plans. We arrived back at Billy's with the rising sun. Jacob was bleary-eyed but happy to see me. Charlie must have called Billy before we left so that Jacob would be awake. Charlie and Billy were starting to remind me of gossiping old women.

Jacob had big plans for the day, involving his motorcycle. He had been hired by a neighbor to fix a lawnmower, and the funds left over after buying parts for the mower was earmarked for motorcycle parts. We drove in my truck first to a hardware store and then to an automotive parts store.

"Why didn't you ride with Charlie?" Jacob asked as we left the store to return to his garage and an afternoon of tinkering.

"I have plans tonight and I don't want to rush Charlie if he wants to stay here."

"Got a hot date with your school books?" he asked playfully.

"No."

"What are you doing then?" he asked.

"I don't really want to discuss it," I said.

"Its just me, Bells. Are you doing something illegal? Is that why you won't tell me? You think I'm going to rat you out to your dad?"

"I'm just meeting up with someone. That's all. Nothing illegal," I said, hoping he would take the hint that his teasing was getting old fast.

"Then you're ashamed? Why else wouldn't you just tell me?" he pressed.

"I'm meeting with Jasper. There, I said it. Now will you please keep it to yourself?" I spat.

"Jasper...Who is...isn't that..." he stammered before his eyes turned to steel. "I thought they were gone. Are they back?"

"No, they aren't back. Jasper is here, but Edward is gone. That's what you want to hear, right?" I snapped.

"No, I want to hear that they're all gone and they're not coming back," he said. "Why would you want to speak to any of them after what he did to you?"

"It really isn't any of your business, Jacob. If I wanted to hop on a plane and go find the rest of them, I could," I said.

"Bella, don't be stupid. Just...just stay away from them!"

I was only half a mile from his house, so I pulled over. He looked at me quizzically as I rolled down my window. I could see the questions forming in his eyes when I snatched up his bags and tossed both of them into the road.

"What the hell?" He threw his door open and jumped out of the truck. As soon as he was clear of the vehicle, I stomped on the gas and drove off.

He was definitely going to tell Charlie, but at the moment, it didn't matter. I was so tired of being told what to do, I didn't care what Jacob did. I fumed the whole way back to Forks.

As luck would have it, I pulled into the driveway right as the mail truck passed our mailbox. Perfect. I slammed my door and trampled over to the mailbox. I was going to take that letter, and every other one he had sent, and set the whole box on fire. Then I could mail him the ashes.

I pulled open the door to the mailbox, and a yellow envelope was sitting alone inside. I grabbed it and forced my truck key between the flap and adhesive. There was nothing in the world that Jacob could have written to me that would make me change my mind, but I didn't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what exactly I had cremated.

With the flap freed, I peered into the envelope. Something was off. This didn't look like a letter. I turned it over in my hand and shook the contents out. It was a napkin folded into the shape of a six point star that floated daintily to the ground. I stooped down to pick it up. The star shaped napkin landed right side up, with a familiar jade dragon embossed on the front.


	6. Chapter 6 Jazz

**Thank you again, my fellow fans, for taking the time to read my story and especially to those who left comments. This is a big chapter, the biggest I've written thus far, but I hope you like it. The poem quoted is from Edmund Spencer's Sonnet 30, also known as Fire and Ice.  
**

**~~ On with the story ~~  
**

I picked up the folded napkin and brought it close to my face, examining the raised edges of the dragon. Relying on my rote memory, I found my way inside the front door and up to my room. I pulled out the book and let it fall open on my bed to the pages protecting the napkin with Jasper's phone number on it. Two identical dragons sat side by side, opening my eyes.

I stole a glance at my closet which concealed the box of yellow envelopes. I had to see what they held; the treasures I had been to self-absorbed to appreciate.

I brought the box over to my bed and sat it down next to my book with shaking hands. I pulled the top envelope, the one from yesterday, out of the box. It was postmarked from Sequim, the city where Jasper had spent the day before going to the coffee shop. He mailed the envelope in my hands mere hours before I saw him.

I reached over to my bedside table and pulled the drawer open. I felt around until cool metal brushed against my skin. It was my grandfather's letter opener. As a child I always thought it looked like a tiny silver sword. My mother gave it to me just before I moved to Forks, but it had laid unused in that drawer from the day I unpacked it.

I slid the blade into a small gap between the paper envelope and gently pulled it across, leaving a clean opening at the top. I clasped the folded paper within between my fingers and brought it out into the light. This star had six points and was made with four pieces of paper: two shades of green and two shades of pink. The greens were shaped into large diamonds, interlocking to form the star. The pinks were smaller diamonds, resting on top of their green counterparts. Each fold was precise...perfect. I held the little piece of art with awe.

If I'd had the sense to check the postmarks before, I would have known weeks ago that Jacob was not behind this. While most of the envelopes were mailed within Washington, some were from other states; one even as far as Mississippi.

The only envelope that contained any type of note was the first one. Every other envelope held just one paper star each. Every single star was unique, in both color and shape. One star was folded flat, but had a small arrow pointing to a tiny hole at one end. When I blew into it, it swelled up and revealed perhaps twenty separate points. Another was a simple four point star, but it was made with a beautiful deep blue paper that had been delicately etched with shimmering golden swirls. There were a couple stars that looked like they were made from road maps, and a few more, like the last one, made with napkins bearing logos.

I kept each star with it's envelope and placed them together on the bed. When I was finished, some piles were three or four layers tall. I sat up and blinked back tears as they overwhelmed me. Jasper had made all of them. Each day he had planned and created a paper star and then mailed it to me. I was on his mind every single day.

But why?

I have no idea how long I sat there on my bed, surrounded by stars and envelopes, lost in thought as I considered the possibilities. I knew that he felt awful for losing control at my party, but this far surpassed a reasonable apology. While Edward had disappeared, trying to convince me that he had never existed, Jasper wanted to remind me every day that he remained.

I was startled out of my thoughts by the sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling into the driveway. I quickly stuffed the stars back into their envelopes and in rough order back into the box. I finished and put the box into the closet just as the front door opened.

I hadn't planned on Charlie coming home before it was time to meet Jasper, but since I was sure that Jacob had ratted me out I couldn't see a reason to put it off. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen where Charlie was cleaning a fish in the sink.

"Hey, Bells," he said as he looked up from his work.

"Hi, Dad," I replied. "Have fun fishing?"

"Got a big one," he said as he turned back to the fish. It was silent for a long moment, and I started to wonder if I should bring it up. Then he said, "Jacob said that I should ask you about your plans tonight."

Of course he did. Jerk. "I'm going to Port Angeles to listen to a jazz band at a bookstore," I said.

"Jazz? I didn't know you liked jazz," he chuckled. "Who are you going with?"

"I'm going with Jasper. We're going to meet around six," I said confidently.

Charlie dropped his knife and spun around. "Edward's brother? Is he back?"

"His adopted brother, yes. He's the only one here. Edward isn't coming back," I said.

"You're going on a date with your ex-boyfriend's brother?"

"I'm meeting him at a bookstore. It isn't a date," I said firmly. "He's a friend, and he's been kinda...there for me...lately."

He looked at me sternly, his eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. "You sure about this, Bella?"

"Positive."

"I know it's not a school night, but home by midnight please?" he said as his face softened. I instantly agreed.

Charlie filleted, battered and fried the fish. I made a simple cole slaw and oven fries to go with it. We made small talk over dinner, mostly about school and the security of our small town. He was much less tense as I cleared the dishes and he made a beeline for his recliner. I washed the dishes quickly and ran upstairs to shower.

My hair was still wet as I fingered through the hangers in my closet when I heard a knock on the door downstairs. I pushed my curtain aside and peeked out the window. A large red truck was parked in front of the house. I didn't recognize it, so I assumed it belonged to a friend of my father's. I settled on a pair of khakis and a soft red knit v-neck sweater. After getting dressed, I used a blow dryer on my hair until it was only slightly damp. It would finish drying on the ride to Port Angeles.

I slipped the most recent envelope into my purse before I walked downstairs and into the living room. Charlie was still in his recliner, but the television was muted. He was facing the couch, where Jasper sat politely.

They both got up when I stepped off the bottom step. Jasper smiled at me, and my father looked far more pleased than he had just a few hours before when I told him about my plans.

"Good evening, Bella," Jasper said. "I know we agreed to meet in Port Angeles, but I had some business in Forks today so I thought I'd see if you would like to ride together. Is that alright?"

"Ah...sure, that...that's fine," I stuttered.

"Can you please be home by midnight?" Charlie asked Jasper.

"Of course," he replied.

"This is a surprise," I said to Jasper as he opened the door of his truck for me outside.

"Is it unwelcome?" he asked.

"No," I said after a moment. "Just let me know next time so I don't keep you waiting."

Did I just say next time? I stole a glance at Jasper, who was sitting in the driver's seat now and rolling down his window. If he heard it, and of course I knew he did, he didn't act like it was an out-of-place thing for me to say. He just turned his key in the ignition and immediately cranked up the heat.

"Let me know if you are too cold," he said. "I think it's still best if I keep the air fresh while we drive together."

"I will," I said as he pulled away from the house. "So, how did you get Charlie in such a good mood? You didn't influence him, did you?"

"I did not," he said with a touch of sternness. "I would not use my ability in a way to only further my own agenda. It's unethical. I could empathize with him, so that helped me to calm his anxiety, but I did not project onto him at all."

"Oh," I said lamely. I needed to change the subject to something less emotionally charged. "How was your poetry slam?" I asked.

"Wonderful. There were some very talented people there," he said, much brighter. "They were so brave, up there under the scrutiny of the room and baring their soul to strangers. It was almost spiritual for some of them."

"Have you always been so into art?" I asked.

"No, and its a shame. I've existed long enough to live three lifetimes, but I've missed so much beauty in this world. Until recently, I hadn't appreciated humans for many years. Such a waste."

"What about before?" I asked without thinking. I instantly wished I could take the words back. I didn't want to push Jasper for answers. At least, not yet.

"You may ask me anything you like, Bella. There is no need to be concerned for my feelings. If I don't wish to answer you, I will let you know," he said gently. "I don't remember much of my human life. I spent the last years at war, so while I'm sure I appreciated my life, I doubt that I really lived it."

"I'm sorry," I said. I didn't know what else to say.

"Don't be," he said. "Now I have a second chance, and that is far more than most get."

Jasper told me about a few of the poets from the night before. His memory of his human life may have been hazy, but he could perfectly recall full verses that he had only heard once.

"What do you like, Bella?" he asked me suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Where do you find beauty? Art? Written words? Music? Nature? Athletic achievements?"

"Definitely not athletic achievements," I said with a smile. "I like reading, I guess."

"Have you read any good books lately?" he asked.

"Not lately. I haven't done much of anything lately," I said quietly.

"I hope you will," he said soothingly. "Your life is precious, Bella. I hope that you will savor it."

"Me too," I said. I thought back over my time in Forks, and it seemed to all revolve around Edward. I was either following him around hopelessly or pining for him. Had I done anything exclusively for myself in the last year?

The conversation after that was sparse but light. It seemed like no time at all had passed when Jasper turned into a parking lot. We were next to a large store, much bigger than the one I visited last time I was in Port Angeles. The parking lot wasn't at capacity, but it was close.

Inside the store people mulled up and down the massive aisles of books. Along the far left wall toward the back was a coffee bar and some round tables and chairs surrounding a small stage. The musicians were still warming up, while a couple men ran colorful wires between speakers and a table next to the stage.

"Would you like to look around first?" he asked.

I nodded and started to wander through the shelves. Jasper kept a respectful distance; nearby but not intrusive. He could sense that I preferred privacy as a browsed. I picked up a poetry anthology and flipped it open. I whispered the words on the page quietly to myself:

_"What more miraculous thing may be told,  
That fire which all things melts should harden ice:_

_And ice which is congealed with senseless cold,  
Should kindle fire by wonderful device?_

_Such is the power of love in gentle mind,_  
_That it can alter all the course of kind."_

"Edmund Spencer?" Jasper asked.

Startled, I looked up. He was still about ten feet away from me at the far end of the aisle. His senses were incredible.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"No, I mean yes. Wait...I mean you aren't disturbing me and that was Edmund Spencer," I stumbled.

"His sonnets are beautiful," Jasper said. "Do you want to find a table soon?'

I nodded. I was finding that Jasper often left me breathless. The more time I spent with him, the more I was surprised by him.

I had to ask for a human moment to excuse myself to the restroom. When I returned, Jasper was seated at a round table near the stage. On the table in front of him were two large cups and two pastries.

As I approached the table he stood and pulled out my chair. I thanked him as I sat down and scooted to the table.

"The barista couldn't make a warm chocolate, so I got a frozen hot chocolate instead," he said as he pushed one of the cups toward me. "I hope it's alright."

I took a sip of the cold, sweet drink. "It's perfect," I told him. "How much do I owe you?"

"The pleasure of your company is a more than acceptable trade," he said, beaming.

The band was playing now, and Jasper delicately drummed his fingers on the table to the beat of the colorful sounds. People started to crowd around the perimeter of the area, as the tables were all full. For a long time, we just sat together and looked on at the band. The saxophone player rang out deliciously with a moving melody. I lazily finished my drink in the comfortable silence between us.

"Do you play an instrument?" Jasper asked as he nudged his cup toward me.

"I took some piano lessons when I was younger, but I haven't played in years," I said. "What about you?"

"I can play the piano, but I prefer guitar," he said. "Being here makes me want to try a saxophone. It's so soulful."

The song ended and a slower one began. People rose from the tables and made their way to a small dance floor in pairs. It seemed so natural and beautiful, the way they grasped each other and swayed with the music. I remember dancing with Edward at Prom. I had objected to it then, but now I wished to have that moment back. Everything had been so easy then; Edward had rescued me from James and I was so sure that we would be together until the sun burned out. Now I had to contend with the notion that while my feelings were real, his were superficial.

"May I have a dance, Bella?" Jasper asked.

He must have felt sorry for me. "I don't really dance," I said.

"Then I can lead," he said. "If you want to, even just a tiny bit, then you should. You never know how many opportunities you will have to dance, so you shouldn't waste any of them."

He was right. I may not dance well, but besides Jasper I would never see any of the people here again. I gazed at the pairs huddled together on the floor, and decided that I wanted that, too.

Jasper took my hand and guided me to the floor. He turned to face me and wrapped his other hand behind me to rest at the small of my back. I slid my free hand up his arm, and away we went. With his hand on my back, he directed my movements with his own. It was almost effortless.

"See?" he whispered. "You're a wonderful dancer."

I looked up at him, and his magnetic eyes caught mine. For a moment, everything except the two of us gliding together just melted away. Too soon, his eyes released mine and I looked down with burning cheeks. I knew he noticed, but was kind enough to keep it to himself.

The crowd on the floor was getting thicker, and rather than on the outer edge we now found ourselves in the middle of the dancers. Suddenly, the mood changed. I could feel Jasper's arms tense, and I looked up to see his eyes darken. He was thirsty and standing in the middle of a swaying pool of humans.


	7. Chapter 7 Waiting

**Thank you again to my loyal readers and my new ones! I love hearing your thoughts, so keep them coming! Both Jasper and Bella get a little vulnerable in this chapter, and Jasper finally breaks out our favorite term of endearment. I hope you enjoy!**

**~~~~ Now, onto the chapter: **

"I have to go," Jasper choked out as he released me and retreated through the crowd. He managed to keep his speed at human level, but only barely.

The band continued to play without interruption, but the perfect couples that had surrounded us now froze to turn and stare at me. I pushed them aside and fetched my purse from our table before tailing Jasper out of the store.

I found him next to his truck, his hands pressed against the hood and his shoulders hunched. I stopped a few cars short of him. I didn't know if my presence would help him or just send him farther over the edge of desire. I whispered his name, knowing he would hear it.

"Stay back, Bella," he said breathlessly.

"How can I help?" I asked.

"Just...just give me a minute, Darlin', please," he said without looking up.

Darlin'? He was clearly trying to personify me so he would feel less like eating me. But if that was the case, why did the word rolling off of his lips make my heart skip a beat?

We stood in silence for long minutes, the sounds of the city echoing between the buildings surround the parking lot. He faced the truck frozen, like a statue faintly glowing in the night. I watched him nervously.

"Why don't you run?" he asked quietly, his face still turned away from me. "You know what I wanted to do to you and every other human in that place."

"You're wrong," I said as I took a small step forward. "Your body was thirsty. I know that you could take my life even before I finish this sentence, but I also know that you don't want to. I know you are strong enough, Jasper."

He looked up then, and his eyes met mine. They were brighter than before, proof that he had at least temporarily kept his demons at bay, but just as captivating. I crept forward as he stood up and faced me, his face unreadable.

"You believe that, don't you? You believe that I wouldn't hurt you," he said evenly.

"You said that you were sorry, and I believed you. You said you were getting better with your 'people skills' and I believed you. Have you lied to me, Jasper?"

"No," he said as he closed the gap between us. "I will never lie to you, Bella."

He was within reach now, having met me half way. I wanted to take him into my arms and hug away the pain and failure in his eyes, but I didn't dare make the first move. I didn't want to push Jasper any more than I wanted him to push me.

He reached out cautiously and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "You've just now made me feel more human than I've felt in nearly one and a half centuries," he whispered as he stared deep into my eyes.

I felt drawn to him, like he had his own gravity that pulled me closer. I forgot that he was the adopted brother of the vampire that had broken my heart just a couple months before, and just saw him as the gentle man standing before me. He was radiant; the moonlight dancing in his soft eyes and the barely discernible illumination of his skin.

"Do you want to go back inside?" he asked, snapping me out of my trance.

I shook my head. I knew he was asking to be polite, but I didn't want to test him any further for the night. He had already fought back against his blood lust once, and even though he was victorious I could tell that the battle had taken it's toll.

"Let's get in the truck," he said. "You're cold."

We drove back to Forks mostly in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. I was lost in thought, and I'm sure he was as well. I was feeling...I wasn't sure what I was feeling. I wanted to spend more time with Jasper, but he needed to start answering some questions rather than creating more.

"Penny for your thoughts," he said on cue.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

He glanced over at me with a look of amusement. "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure," he said.

I reached into my purse and brought out the yellow envelope. I placed it gently on the seat between us. "Here are some of my thoughts."

"What do you think about it?" he asked carefully.

"I don't know what to think about it," I said. "Why did you do this?"

He turned back to the road and let out a soft sigh. "It's complicated, Bella," he said. "I disagree with Edward's actions concerning you. All of them. And yet, if I hadn't...if I had control, then you may have been spared...all of what you experienced. Edward may have told you that he could make it so that you would forget that he ever existed, but he lives in a fantasy. The reality of your situation weighs on me, Bella."

"Then why didn't you just call my house? Why mail something to me every day?"

"As I said before, I didn't plan to approach you at all. If you hadn't drove to that coffee shop on that night, you would still have no idea that I am staying nearby," he said. "I didn't want to complicate your life any further, but I wanted you to know that you were thought of fondly."

I mulled his answer over in my mind as his truck approached Charlie's house. "What do you mean by 'all of' his actions?"

He pulled up in front of the house and killed the engine. "Do you plan to see or speak to me after tonight?" he asked quietly.

"What do I have to answer to get the truth?" I asked indignantly.

"I will tell you the truth regardless of your answer. I told you tonight that I will never lie to you, and I meant it," he said firmly. "Your answer will determine how much I need to tell you tonight."

"I'd like to see you again," I said honestly.

"Vampires have existed for almost as many years as humans have, and yet humans believe that we are nothing more than a scary story. Do you know why that is?"

I shook my head briefly before he continued, "Vampires are secretive because it is imperative for survival. When Edward gave you the knowledge of our world, he made you a part of it. Instead of protecting you or turning you, he left you the second he felt overwhelmed by his responsibility. All of it was selfish, gratifying his desire of the moment and not thinking of the repercussions. Your repercussions. He cared about you, Bella, but not nearly as much as he cared for himself."

I didn't realize that I had started to cry again until I felt the tears fall onto my bare hands. His words cut through me, perhaps because even if I didn't want to believe him...I did. It was so easy to blame myself and my human shortcomings, but Edward made his choices. He knew what I was before he approached me. If moving away was so easy for him, why didn't he do it the day that he had to sit next to me in Biology?

"I'm sorry," Jasper whispered as he gingerly stretched his hand toward my face to wipe away my tears. "I'm so sorry. Please don't cry, Darlin'. I shouldn't have been so harsh."

"No," I said as I pawed away the wet streaks running down my cheeks. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. Maybe I needed to hear that."

"Can I help you?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I need to deal with this. If you take the pain away, it just means that it will last longer."

"You're right," he said softly. He lowered his hand to cover mine and waited for me to compose myself, not unlike the way I had waited for him in the parking lot earlier in the evening.

"I'm sorry," I said as the tears waned.

"Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry about," he said soothingly. "May I walk you to the door?"

I nodded and reached for the envelope to stuff it back into my purse.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked as he nodded toward it.

"Do you want to stop?" I asked.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," he said, "but I don't really want to stop."

"Then keep doing it until you're ready," I said. "And if I want it to stop first, I'll let you know. Deal?"

"Deal," he said with a smile.


	8. Chapter 8 Pie

**Thank you fellow fans! I don't think I'll ever stop being overwhelmed by the people reading and reviewing this story! I do apologize for the long wait for an update. Real life and all. :P This chapter sets up a lot of stuff that is coming later. I hope you like it!**

**~~~And on with the story: **

Laughter and conversation bounced off of the padded walls of the gymnasium. The sporting equipment was replaced with makeshift booths, partitioned with office dividers and stocked with press-board folding tables. Even if the scene had changed, the scent of sweat and rubber still hung in the air.

"Bella!"

I looked to my right to see Angela standing next to Ben and waving me over. I smiled and walked toward her.

It had been a little over two weeks since I had seen Jasper, although his yellow envelopes and hand folded stars arrived daily without interruption. He had told me that he would be out of the area for a time to hunt and attend to some business matters, but I expected him to be back in a couple days rather than weeks. We had called each other a few times in between, but he usually hurried off the line. His mixed signals had left me confused and distracted at best, and guilty at worst. I tried not to allow myself to really miss him, because even if he was being friendly to me, he was still Alice's husband.

As I reached Angela, she smiled and handed me a flyer from the accounting booth. I had gradually started spending time with Angela again, and like a true friend she welcomed me back without reservations. Jessica was another story, but not one I'm interested in rehashing.

"I thought you are going into nursing," I said to her.

"Ben hasn't picked a major yet," Angela replied, her eyes on her boyfriend. "And you haven't either."

"I'm not going to pick one just because they have a booth at Career Fair," Ben said with a touch of irritation. Angela was as sweet as they come, but very persistent when she adopted a "cause"; it appeared that Ben's future was her current project.

"Just take the paper anyway," she said sweetly. "You have a five day weekend to think it over."

"Career Fair the day before Thanksgiving Break. Clever," he snorted.

We walked together through the tables, mostly labeled with stacks of flyers and business cards. When I was with Edward, I had become so fixated on becoming a Vampire that I lost all desire for an education or career. Now my plans had to change...but I had no idea what interested me. I took a paper from each booth, just in case, but nothing really stuck out to me.

Angela had cornered Ben in some sort of health care booth, most likely intent on getting him to attend college with her. I spotted Mike sauntering toward us, and walked off in the opposite direction. Mike Newton didn't grasp the concept of platonic friendship and had went from ignoring me to making passes at me in the time it took for me to make things right with Angela.

The last booth in the row caught my eye. Instead of the gray fabric walls the other ones had, every inch of this one was covered with photographs. The largest picture, a black and white print of an infant's hand gripping an aged and wrinkly finger, was almost two feet wide. Around it were smaller prints that varied in subject as much as size. There was a man in his 40's with tears streaking down his face; a young woman in a wedding dress gazing in a mirror; a lone tree silhouetted against a red-orange sky; newborn babies; flowers; and faces representing every emotion I could name and more. They were startlingly beautiful; I had to get closer. I walked into the booth and brought my finger millimeters away from a small photograph of an elderly couple. The man was holding a spoon in his hand, but his eyes were locked on the subtle smile of the woman next to him.

"You have a good eye."

I turned to see a woman standing just over my shoulder. She was tall, maybe six feet or more, and her thick pink-streaked blond hair swayed down to her round hips. Her face was only a few years past youthful, clean of make-up but bright with an animated smile. She wore a pair of loose fitting jeans and a dull white bell-sleeved shirt. She seemed out of place, but that only made me like her more.

"His wife died a month after this was taken," she said, tracing the outline of the late woman's snowy hair. "I met them at a flea market. He made flavored mustard, and they sold them together every weekend for over twenty years."

"It's beautiful," I said.

"It's humanity," she said. "You can only really catch it when the subject doesn't know it's a subject."

I wasn't sure how to respond, so I just turned to examine the other photographs. She pointed out a few more to me, telling me their story.

"Ever take pictures?" she finally asked me.

"Not like these," I said. "I'd never be able to do that."

"You'd be surprised," she said. "I took plenty of pictures when I was your age, but I didn't pick up a quality camera and take a memorable photograph until I was in my late twenties."

"What made you wait so long?" I asked.

"I tried to get a real job," she said with a hearty laugh. "My dad wanted me to be a pharmacist. My mom thought I should be a teacher. So I wasted three years in college trying to like one of those things or several other things. I switched majors about as often as I switched boyfriends until I dropped school. Then one of those boyfriends gave me a camera and introduced me to his aunt: a wedding photographer that came into town to shoot his sister's wedding. I packed my bags and left town with that woman as an apprentice. After I was printed in a few magazines, old Forks High asked me back for career day."

"Just like that? You just...knew?"

"Nope. It was just another crazy adventure of my misspent youth," she said. "I'm just lucky that I fell in love."

The bell blared through the noisy room, and my classmates started to congregate near the exits. I wished I had came here first.

"What's your name, missy?" she asked.

"Bella. Bella Swan," I said.

"I'm Sandy. It's nice to meet you, Bella," she said as she extended her hand to me. "Some of my work is going to be in an art show in Seattle on Saturday. You should come out. Let me get you the address."

* * *

I stopped at the store on my way home to pick up supplies for pumpkin pie. It was my contribution to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. Charlie and I were joining Billy and Jacob at the Clearwater's house tomorrow afternoon.

I got home after the mail arrived but before Charlie, so I tossed my bags in the kitchen and ran upstairs with my newest yellow envelope. I had upgraded my storage container from a shoebox tossed in the closet to a woven basket that I found in the attic stored under my bed. It was about twice the size and far more attractive.

This star had eight points and Jasper's typical perfect folds, but the pale green hue caught my attention. "No way," I whispered as I cupped my hands around it to block out the light. The star glowed faintly in the darkness. The corners of my mouth turned up and I let out a small giggle.

As if on cue, the phone rang. I picked up the receiver on my bedside table.

"Hey, you," Jasper replied to my generic greeting. Something about the way those words sounded coming from him made my heart skip a beat.

"Hey! I was just admiring your handiwork," I said. "What have you been up to?"

"Just wrapping up some boring legal stuff," he said. "I'm hunting tonight and I'll be back in your neck of the woods tomorrow sometime."

His words were so casual, but they gave me butterflies. I couldn't deny that I wanted to see him again. Things were smoother with Charlie and Angela; I'd even made up with Jacob enough to float a light conversation with him while our fathers watched sports on the weekends. But no one really understood my feelings about Edward like Jasper. It wasn't just that he could read my emotions like a book. It was that he knew the depth of my pain, but didn't treat it like an inconvenience. He didn't try to rush me through my grief. He just told me every day, even if I wasn't always aware, that I was on his mind. I didn't know it two months ago, but it was exactly what I needed.

"Are you free on Saturday?" I asked.

"I can be," he said. "What do you have in mind?"

"There's an art show in Seattle," I said. I hoped that didn't sound too boring. I was going either way, but I really wanted the company.

"Sounds lovely," he said. "When can I pick you up?"

* * *

Charlie listened to reason and let me drive to the Reservation early Thursday afternoon. Even if everyone in town knew that my father was a cop, I still hated riding around with him in his cruiser.

A large and mouthwatering meal was almost ready when we arrived. Sue took my pie with a smile. Charlie barely waved to her before joining the men in the family room circled around the glowing television. I hung up my coat and offered my help in the kitchen. In no time at all the table was set and we were all seated around an enormous feast.

The table was not meant to comfortably seat 8 adults, but we made it work. Henry Clearwater sat at one end and Billy at the other. I ended up squeezed between Jacob and Charlie, while Sue, Leah and Seth Clearwater sat across from us. Sue took the hand of her daughter and her husband, then nodded at the rest of us to do the same.

"Before we break bread together, let us each name a thing or person for which we are grateful," Henry said in his quiet but commanding baritone.

Jacob slid his hand over mine and gripped it tight. It felt feverish, like his skin was on fire. "You alright?" I whispered to him.

"Sure, sure," he whispered back.

"I am grateful for the blessings bestowed upon my family," Henry said. He squeezed Sue's hand.

"My husband, my children and our friends," she said.

"Video games!" Seth said enthusiastically. Quiet chuckles were heard around the table.

"I'm thankful that Bella is back home," Charlie said when his turn came. He winked at me and squeezed my hand.

"Friends and family," I said. It seemed like the kind of thing I should say, and I could think of one friend in particular that I was indeed grateful for. I squeezed Jacob's hand.

"I'm thankful that Bella is back home, too," he said. I could feel my face flush. Jacob also had the distinction of being the last to go, so my embarrassment was only amplified.

"Then let's eat!" bellowed Henry. Silverware clanged against the good china as we reached for the platters in front of us.

The food was delicious. Jacob must have thought so too, since he had three heaping plates full of it. Once we had all gorged ourselves, Leah and I helped Sue clear the dishes and bring out the dessert plates. "I can't wait to try your pie, Bella," Sue said with a wink.

When we brought the plates full of orange dessert back to the table, the men's eyes turned to scrutinize me as their conversation fell silent.

"We were just talking about you graduating this year, Bells," Charlie said. "Have you finalized any college plans?"

"Working on it," I said. When Jacob dramatically scoffed, I sighed, "What?"

"If by college you mean chasing Edward all over the world," he spat.

"What the hell are you trying to say?" I retorted.

"That's why you're being all vague, right? As soon as June rolls around you're just going to hop on a plane and track him down, right?" he said as he stared me down, daring me to disagree.

"Hey!" Charlie warned.

"You don't know what you're talking about! What is your problem?" I yelled.

"Everyone here knows that you can't wait to get back with the creep, so why don't you just quit school right now and leave? Why wait around?"

"Jacob!" Billy snapped.

"You know what, Jacob Black? You don't know a damn thing about me. And whatever I decide to do in June is just that: my decision. So deal," I said firmly. Then I looked up at the whole table. "In fact, if any of you have any questions about me or my plans, how about next time you just ask me instead of gossiping?"

For a moment, they all fell silent and their eyes nervously bounced back and forth between Jacob and me. Then Jacob muttered something about me being delusional under his breath and pushed himself away from the table. Sue tried to reach for him, but he shrugged her off and slammed the back door on his way out.

"I apologize for my son," said Billy. "I'm afraid he may be getting sick."

"We understand," said Charlie. "Maybe we'll go ahead and take off."

"But you haven't had any pie," said Sue.

"Don't worry. Bells left a pie at home. You just worry about getting Jacob in bed," Charlie said as he stood up and took me by the elbow. "We'll see you Sunday."

The pleasantries exchanged were quiet and hollow. Charlie and I put on our coats in silence and walked out to my truck. I noticed a boot shaped dent in the side of the bed. Perfect. _Thanks again, Jacob._

"You and Jacob fighting?" Charlie finally asked once the house disappeared in the rear view mirror.

"Not before today," I said with unconcealed annoyance. "What were you all talking about when I was in the kitchen?"

Charlie sighed. "Jacob asked me if you were talking to 'him' these days. I told him I didn't think so, and then he asked if you were moving after graduation."

"I'm not talking to Edward," I said. "I don't know what I'm doing after graduation, but it doesn't involve tracking down Edward."

"Okay," said Charlie. "I just want you safe and happy, Bella. That's it. I'm sure Jacob wants that, too. He just isn't going about it the right way."

"I don't want to talk about Jacob anymore."

"Sounds fair," he said. He switched on the radio and we didn't speak again until we were back home.

We were home from Thanksgiving dinner before most families start to eat, but Charlie and I were not like other families. Charlie immediately grabbed a beer from the fridge, settled into his armchair and switched on the television. I watched him for a moment, and I felt a pang of guilt that he would have to watch his games alone now instead of with his friends.

I went upstairs to my room and threw myself on the bed. I wanted to do something to relieve the anger and frustration building up inside of me, but I didn't know what.

Wait. I did know.

I reached over and picked up the phone. I had his number memorized now. He picked up on the second ring.

"Are you back in town yet?" I asked, skipping the usual greetings.

"I'm about an hour out, but I can get there faster. What happened?" Jasper asked with a hint of urgency in his voice.

"Nothing terrible," I said. "I could just really use a friend. If you're not busy, do you want to come over for a while?"

"I'll be there soon, Darlin'," he said. Even though I was in a horrible mood, that word still made my heart jump.


	9. Chapter 9 Cedar and Magnolias

**As always, thank you for reading, following and commenting. A lot of answers come out in this chapter. It may be my favorite so far. I hope you like it!**

**~~~On to the story~~~**

The gray sky had just a touch of evening orange when Jasper's truck pulled up. Charlie knew I was expecting company; I had kept up my end of our bargain. He would have given us privacy in the kitchen to talk, but I wrapped myself in a quilt and waited outside on the porch swing anyway. With the happy families all huddled in their warm homes enjoying their Tryptophan overdoses, the air was even more quiet and calm than usual. I needed that.

He looked tired, if that were possible for a vampire. His eyes, while golden amber from being well fed, were weary and drained. As he stepped onto the porch, he offered me a small smile and a yellow envelope.

"No mail today, right?" he said.

An urge to leap off the swing and wrap my arms around him gripped me, but I pushed it away. _He's just a friend. A married friend._ Instead, I smiled and thanked him as I accepted the envelope.

He sat next me, reclined against the back of the swing with his heels propelling us back and forth. I drew my own feet up under the blanket as my heart raced. He hadn't been this physically close to me since our shared dance. I wondered if the proximity was affecting him as well.

"I'm here," he said. "Do you want to tell me why you were so upset on the phone earlier?"

"Not really," I said with a sigh. "I don't really want to talk about him anymore."

"Him?"

"Jacob Black. His dad is friends with mine, and sometimes he can be a real jerk," I said. "That's all the words I want to waste on him right now."

The swing froze and I could feel Jasper's eyes on me. "You shouldn't let anyone treat you with anything except the respect you deserve, Bella," he said.

"I know," I snapped. I immediately regretted my tone. "I'm sorry. I don't want to take it out on you. That's why I don't want to talk about Jacob. I'm so fed up with him, I can't think straight."

"Then it's dropped," he said as he started to rock us again.

We sat in a comfortable silence as the diluted sunset hues painted the clouds. Just being near Jasper was a comfort on some level, but the unanswered questions between us wouldn't leave my mind. I stole a glance at him. His eyes were on the horizon.

"What were you doing while you were gone?" I asked before I lost my nerve.

"Mostly hunting and paperwork," he said without turning. "I was working on my people skills as well."

"Make any new friends?" I asked. I needed to ease into this line of questioning.

"No," he said. "I'm afraid friendship is off the table for a while."

"What do you mean?" I wasn't expecting that.

He sighed and turned his golden eyes toward me. "Do you remember what I said about vampires befriending humans? I can't take the chance that I could be responsible for the pain or even death of a human. I can't be more than an acquaintance to any of them," he said. "I have no desire to spend time with vampires that still take human lives, and bridges have been burned with most of my fellow 'vegetarians'. For now, I have no one."

"You have me," I whispered, my eyes on my hands.

"I'm happy to hear that," he said softly. I felt his cool fingers gently drift through my hair.

"What happened to the Cullens?" I asked.

His hand froze and my hair fell back across my neck. "I will tell you, if that's what you want," he said, the softness vanished into the night. "But I'm afraid it will change the way you look at us. All of us. And not for the better."

"I want to know."

"I can't tell you what happened to them without telling you what happened to me. Knowing the truth about me...it may not be easy for you, Bella," he said. "If you want me to stop, I'll understand. If you want me to calm you so you can hear it all, I will." Then he turned to me once more and caught my eyes with his. "If you never want to see me again, I will respect that," he whispered.

"That won't happen," I said with certainty in my voice. I couldn't imagine any transgression that could change my opinion of Jasper.

He released my eyes and looked again to the vanishing light of the horizon. "I was born Jasper Whitlock in Texas in the year 1843," he began, his voice distant and reflective. "I joined the Confederate Army too young, but worked my way to Major before I met Maria. When I first met her, my instinct told me to run, but my upbringing told me to stay. I paid for that mistake with my human life at the age of twenty."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I took his calloused hand into my own, hoping that the sudden movement didn't startle him.

He sighed softly and stroked my hand with his thumb as he continued, "During that time, there was a war within the vampire world as well as the human one. Maria needed help staking her claim for territory, which is why she chose me. She convinced me that she was in love with me, and I believed her. My ability to feel and manipulate emotion was underdeveloped, and I didn't trust it. I served her, turning and killing countless humans for her purposes. I could feel their terror, thirst, pain...but I had to push that part of me away in order to complete my mission. Those years with Maria, I was a vile monster, sick with my own self-loathing.

"There was a vampire named Peter that worked in our army for a few years, longer than most survived. Although I had been obedient to Maria, she got bored of me and began to train him up as her new Second. I may have been foolish enough to believe that she loved us both, as she said, until the day she ordered Peter to kill another newborn named Charlotte. He couldn't do it, because he was in love with Charlotte. The night I helped them escape, I felt love for the first time in my life.

"After that, I was changed. I knew that Maria was lying to me, but I knew nothing except how to be her errand boy. So I stayed for five more years, hating her more every single day."

He stopped and looked at me, his eyes pained. "Do you want me to stop?" he whispered.

"I'm not afraid," I said with conviction. I could feel my heart breaking for him, but I was more convinced than ever that I was safe with him. His hand clasping mine was gentle and caring. Even if he had lived as a monster, he wasn't one anymore.

He looked away again, his thumb still stroking my hand. "They returned five years later. They had been living peacefully to the north, existing in the shadows with other vampires. Once I knew that there was a possibility of another life, I left immediately. In some ways they were right; Roaming the northern parts of the US and Canada, I was rarely confronted by another vampire and didn't have to fight for territory. But I still had to take the lives of humans to survive, and feel their suffering at my hands. That was until I met Alice.

"Alice gave me a second chance at living a moral life. She developed control on her own, and showed me how to live off of animals. Unlike Maria, Alice did care about me. Together we found Carlisle and learned to coexist with humans. That was fifty years ago.

"Carlisle turned all of the others, so they were raised with him as their guide. Battling the thirst was always easier for them. For Alice, it came naturally. I was the only one to struggle. As a result, I lived under their constant supervision. The challenge of being among humans was only multiplied by their mistrust. It was like they all expected me to fail. Do you know what that's like?"

"I think so," I said. Just like Jacob today, believing that I was counting down the days until I could hunt Edward down and beg him to take me back. Just like Charlie checking up on me by questioning Mike. Yes, I knew what that felt like.

"I'm sorry that you do," he said. "I've accomplished much more in the months since they left than I did in the last half century. I'm learning how to listen to my own signals rather than rely on them."

"Is that why you stayed behind?" I asked.

"That's only part of it," he said. "I'd felt that Alice was keeping things from me for years before we came to Forks. I didn't think that it was fair for me to have constant access to her emotions, so I let it slide. With Edward always in my head, I missed my privacy and I didn't want to invade hers. You see, when I first met Alice she told me that she had a vision of me. She said that we were meant to be together, and for a long time I thought that she was right. Even though Alice loves to throw parties, we've only officially been married once. I felt it was a testament to our connection that we didn't have to declare our love over and over like Rosalie and Emmett.

"When I found out that Edward was planning to leave you, I intervened. I said some very harsh things to him. He lost his temper. He told me what Alice had been hiding from me. She was having visions of another man. At first, I thought he was just being cruel. But when I confronted her...it was true. She hadn't met him yet, but she knew that she was destined for another. Because she knew, Edward knew. And because Edward couldn't keep his mouth shut, everyone else knew as well. Alice cared enough about me to want to spare my feelings, but she wasn't in love with me. My life with her was a lie. My life with them was a joke.

"Edward went to Europe. He wants to build a life separate from the Carlisle. Alice went south to learn about her human life, and to find the man in her visions. Everyone else went north to visit with a tribe of like-minded vampires in Alaska. I stayed here," he said.

"The legal matters...were you getting a divorce from Alice?" I asked.

"Annulment," he said. "According to the law, my marriage to Alice never existed. I also changed my name back. I will never be Jasper Hale again."

I was stunned by what he had told me. I loved Alice; She was once like a sister to me. But being with Jasper, I could understand her deceit. I would never want to break Jasper's heart, either. Was there such a thing as destiny? Could you fall in love with someone you weren't meant to be with?

"Penny for your thoughts," he whispered, finally looking at me.

"You're amazing," I said. He cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "After everything you've told me...you haven't given up hope. You still try to be a better person. You're resilient."

"Is that a complement?" he asked with a hint of a smile.

"Very much so," I said. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me."

"You're pretty amazing yourself, darlin'," he said. "You're not running for the hills."

"Nothing to run from," I said. "I know you won't hurt me."

"You've done it again," he said as he slid his hand out of mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "You've made me feel human."

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled myself closer. His free arm circled my waist and I felt his cheek resting gently against my hair. He really did smell like magnolias and cedar, just like his scarf. His face rose slightly, and my hair danced toward him as he inhaled my scent. I wondered briefly if it would be too overwhelming for him, but his lips pressed softly against my hair and he stroked my back. Nothing had felt so right as this moment in Jasper's arms.

He loosened his grip as I rose and gazed into his eyes. His honey blond hair fell in soft ringlets, framing his golden eyes. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips, and I was done for. I wanted to kiss him.

The porch flooded with light, and I swung my head around to the door. Charlie's head peaked out a moment later. "You out here, Bella?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

He stepped out and nodded to Jasper politely. "I must have fallen asleep in front of the game. Aren't you cold?"

"I'm fine," I said, trying to hide my annoyance.

"Alright," he said patiently. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay." He stepped back inside and shut the door behind him.

"Today sucked for him, too," I said. "He was going to watch the game with his friends, but he took me home instead."

"He is lonely," Jasper agreed. "Why don't you go spend some time with him? You can call me later tonight, if you want."

I was torn. I wanted to stay with Jasper, but his confirmation of my suspicions about Charlie made me think twice. Soon, I would be leaving for college and Charlie would be alone again.

"Are we still on for Saturday?" I asked.

"Of course," he said. "I look forward to it." He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and he walked me to the front door. He lifted his hand and gingerly brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Goodnight, darlin'," he whispered.

Charlie was buttering bread in the kitchen when I walked back inside. He looked up from his work. "Jasper leave?"

I nodded.

"I'm making some grilled cheese. Want one?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

I walked into the living room and flipped through the channels. "Hey Dad?" I called, "Planes, Trains and Automobiles is coming on in ten minutes." I remembered watching that movie with him one year during Thanksgiving.

"I love that movie," he said, poking his head out of the kitchen. "You want squares or triangles?"

"Triangles."


	10. Chapter 10 Maroon and Black

**A big thank you to all of you who read and/or review this story! This chapter isn't as fluffy as I originally intended it to be, so I promise some gratuitous swooning in the next chapter. Characters/Setting belong to SM. Scenario (and my lovely photographer) belongs to me. :)**

**~~~ On to the Chapter:** ~~~

I pulled a mauve sweater over my head and threw it in the reject pile. Half my closet was thrown across the bed. This was hard. I had no idea what to wear to Seattle. I never had fashion sense, anyway. I had also never been to an art show. I didn't know what people wore to art shows. I imagined something dressy, but not formal or too conservative.

To complicate matters further, this might be a date. A first date.

But it couldn't be. I had asked him days ago, and I planned to go with or without him. I only wanted company because of the six hour round trip drive. We were friends, and he was the only person I could think of that might have a remote interest in an art show.

All of the logic in the world couldn't convince me that nothing had passed between us Thursday night. I wanted to kiss him, and I'm sure that he knew it. Something like that wouldn't get past Jasper. Is that why he told me to spend time with Charlie?

I ripped a dark brown knee length skirt off a hanger and pulled it on. Too plain? Too cold for Seattle in late November? I wished I could call Alice for advice.

"That's the most absurd thing I've thought all day," I mumbled to myself as I slid the skirt back down.

I pulled a black and maroon dress out next. The skirt of the dress flared out just below my knees. This one still had the price tag; it was a gift from my mother. It was dressy yet modest, except for the spaghetti straps. I remembered having a black shrug somewhere in my closet, and started to dig for it.

I found it, behind my blue sweater. The blue sweater. The one Edward loved so much. I took it out and held it close to my face. I used to wear it once or twice a week. I had wanted to please him so much. Edward always seemed unattainable to me, even when we were together. I was always scrambling to meet his expectations.

I walked over to my bedside table and rummaged through the drawer. Scissors. I didn't wonder if Edward was coming back anymore. I knew he wasn't. That thought used to tear me apart, but not anymore. When I finished that sweater, not even a vampire with superior sight and dexterity would be able to reassemble it.

Charlie was pulling his heavy tan work boots on when I came downstairs. No Blacks or Clearwaters had called him since Thursday, so he cancelled his original plans to meet Billy for lunch. It worked out in his favor, in a way, since one of the elderly neighbors had asked him to come to her house and hang Christmas lights. Charlie was never one to decorate for holidays, but helping the residents of Forks made his rare smile come out.

"You look nice," he conceded with a grumble. True to our agreement, I told him where I was going and who I was going with. He was less than pleased. Even if he didn't have a reason to dislike Jasper, he was gun-shy. I understood. I must have been miserable to live with after Edward left.

"Thank you," I said with a smile. Charlie may not have liked what I was doing, but he wasn't upset enough to try to change my mind.

Charlie motioned for me to sit on the couch across from his chair. I sat down, and he passed me a black bag. I tilted me head in confusion, but he told me to open it. Inside was a slick box with a picture of a small cell phone on it.

"We needed cell phones for the force, so I added you to my plan," he said. "It's just a basic plan; if you want more minutes or tests then you'll have to pay for it yourself. But the lady said it's free between our phones."

"Texts?"

"Alright," he said with a frustrated sigh. "Just...if you want to come home early or anything...I'll have my phone on and I charged yours...so don't feel like you can't call."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. This wasn't easy for him, and I was touched that he went to the trouble.

"Well, have fun and be safe," he said as he stood and walked to the door.

There came a knocking at the door just as I took the last strand of my freshly curled hair from the curling iron. _He's a little early._ I had swept my hair into a side ponytail and shaped the ends. I knew as much about make-up as I did about fashion, so I stuck with mascara and lip gloss. My stomach was fluttering, and I was kicking myself for being so nervous. _Just friends._

I went downstairs, but when I opened the door there was no one on the porch. Something didn't feel right, but surely I must have been hearing things.

I closed the door and sat in the living room, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. I wanted to call Jasper, but if it were nothing then I would just be worrying him for no reason. Instead, I just paced around the downstairs and waited for him.

Twenty minutes after he was supposed pick me up, Jasper called. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I replied. "Is everything okay with you?" It wasn't like him to be late.

He sighed into the phone. "Mostly. Has anything unusual happened today? Any strange noises or visitors?"

"No," I said automatically. "Wait. Maybe? I thought I heard a knock on the door a while ago, but there was no one there. I thought I..."

"Anything since that?" he asked with a hint of urgency.

"No, what's going on Jasper? You're scaring me."

"I won't lie to you, but I don't want to worry you either," he said.

"That's not an answer," I countered. "Tell me what's happening."

"You had an unwelcome visitor," he said carefully. "He has been disposed of."

"What? What are you saying? Someone was at my house? Who?"

"I will tell you everything, but it should be in person."

"No! Tell me now! I deserve to know the truth!" I shouted into the phone.

"I will tell you. I promise."

"I don't want to hear any more promises! Don't treat me like a child!" I was fuming now, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the phone.

"May I calm you?"

"Calm me?" I asked. "You can't do that over the phone, can you? Are you here?"

He sighed again. "I'm in the woods behind your house."

"Then come up here and tell me what the hell is going on in person," I said, fighting to control my voice.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Bella...I wish I could help you understand," he said. "I shouldn't have called now, but I had to know that you're alright. I can't let you see me as I am now, but I don't want to go back to my house to clean up and leave you vulnerable."

"Just...just come here. You can shower upstairs."

"You can't see this, Bella. You've been so understanding..."

"If you meant that, you wouldn't still be here, Jasper," I said. "Just come in, clean up and talk to me."

The line was silent as he considered my words. "My clothing is torn," he said.

"So get cleaned up, borrow some of Charlie's clothes and we can go to your place together to get new clothes for you. I'll leave them in the bathroom and open my bedroom window for you. I'll stay downstairs. Just...just come inside, Jasper. I don't like being left in the dark," I said.

"Alright," he conceded. "Give me a few minutes." The line went dead.

_What the hell is going on?_ Grabbing a plastic grocery bag from the kitchen, I went upstairs and pulled out a pair of jeans and a plaid flannel shirt out of Charlie's closet. The clothes weren't as nice as Jasper's usual attire, but Charlie wouldn't miss them. I folded them carefully and placed them, along with the bag and a fresh towel, on the sink in the bathroom. Then I walked into my room and threw open the window facing the backyard. I stood for a moment, my eyes on the woods. He was out there, most likely watching me at this very moment. Why didn't he want me to see him? If he had been in a fight, why should that be more shocking to me than what he told me Thursday night?

I went back downstairs to wait. I no sooner stepped off of the stairs when I heard the bathroom door shut and the water start. I sat on the couch, flipping through a Reader's Digest, and waited for him.

A few minutes after the water shut off, he appeared downstairs. He was taller and leaner than Charlie, so the clothes didn't fit well, but he looked_ right _in them. The shirt softened his frame, draping tastefully off of his broad shoulders. The pants were a little short, but I loved how casual they made him look.

"Hey, you," he said sweetly. "Thanks for this." He indicated the clothes with a sweep of his hands.

"No problem," I said quietly. I was pensive, my heart beat accelerating and my hands starting to shake. "What happened?"

He walked to the couch and offered his hand to me. I took it and stood up. He looked down at me and smiled. "You're beautiful, darlin'," he said softly. He raised my hand and gently pressed his lips against my skin.

"That's not an answer," I said, blushing. "Don't try to distract me." _Because it's working_.

"I wasn't. I just didn't want to miss my opportunity to tell you," he said with a smile. "Let's go. I'll explain on the way."

Since his truck was at his house, we took mine. He drove, taking us through town toward the Cullen house.

"Your 'visitor' was Laurent," he said. "He was staying in Alaska, trying the vegetarian lifestyle with the same friends that the rest of the Cullens are now visiting. I caught his scent this morning when I was hunting nearby."

"Why did he come back here if you're the only vegetarian vampire in the area?" I asked.

"His eyes were red, Bella. It wasn't a casual visit," he said. "When I first found his scent, I called Carlisle to find out why he was here. He told me that Laurent was caught taking humans earlier this week, and when he was confronted, he simply disappeared."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"I believe he was teasing me," Jasper said. "After I spoke with Carlisle, I finished hunting and then started to track Laurent. I found him quickly enough, but he ran from me. He wasn't fearful...it was like he was angry with me and he wanted to find a way to make me angry with him. That was when he approached your house."

"So, he wasn't going to hurt me?"

"I can't say for sure. I do know that he wasn't thirsty, and if he really wanted to hurt you he would have done so without taking the time to get caught by me. He was intentionally slow and clumsy. He was enticing me to follow him."

"Did you catch him?" I asked.

"We fought briefly. He managed to escape, but he ultimately met his end," he said bitterly.

"You missed your turn," I said as we drove past the Cullen's long driveway.

"I don't live there anymore," he said. "I keep it maintained as a favor to Carlisle, but it is his family home and I am no longer his family."

"Oh." The catalyst for Jasper leaving the family was, of course, me. I looked down at my hands.

"Please, don't feel guilty," he said. "As I said before, it was a long time coming. Just because I choose not to be part of their family doesn't mean that we hate each other. I will be eternally grateful to Alice for showing me a new life, and to Carlisle and Esme for trying their best with me. Rose was understanding, and I appreciate her for that. Emmett made me smile over the years, and I still consider him a friend." He took a left turn down a small one way gravel road.

"What about Edward?"

He shook his head. "Aside from our differences, his ability was always too much for me. I would never choose to be in the presence of someone who could so easily violate my personal rights. I would have rather lived with the animal-drinkers in Alaska."

"Why didn't you?"

He turned a corner and a cabin came into view. "Edward. Alice loved the whole family, but she loved him the most, and I loved her. So I made her happy and tried to keep my distance."

He parked behind his truck. Before I could get my seat belt off, he was out and opening the passenger door for me. The porch extended to the length of the cabin, with two wooden rocking chairs swayed gently in the wind. It was a genuine log cabin, with trunks stacked up two stories. He unlocked the door and held it open for me.

"I'll be right back," he said as he disappeared behind a door to my right.

I stepped into a spacious living room. The walls were a tasteful beige, put strikingly bare. A wooden desk sat on one wall, facing a large window. Next to it were three large bookcases filled to the brim, and then a large recliner with a floor lamp behind it. On the other wall was a long sofa, and the third wall was home to a flat screen television on top of a cabinet. In the corner was a black acoustic guitar on a stand. I walked over to it and, without thinking, reached out to touch the smooth wood.

"Like it?" he asked as he reappeared behind me. He was wearing a pair of black dress pants and a maroon shirt, reflecting my own attire.

"It's beautiful," I said, dropping my hand. "Will you play for me sometime?"

"It would be my pleasure, darlin'," he said with a gentle smile. "Our delay has cost us time. If we want to make it to the show, we need to leave soon. Do you want to leave your truck here and drive it home after we get back into town?"

I nodded and started to walk toward the door. His hand darted out and tapped my shoulder. I looked up and met his mesmerizing stare. "I'm sorry about my behavior earlier today," he said. "Being engaged in conflict can make it difficult for me to control my instincts. Thank you for being so...understanding."

"You're welcome," I said. He must have read my mind, because in the next second I was in his embrace. His hand soothingly caressed my back. It felt like I had been waiting an eternity to be held like this.


	11. Chapter 11 Pictures

**Thank you again for reading! You never cease to amaze me! **

**Characters/setting belong to their creator. **

**~~~ And now, onto the chapter:** ~~~

"I think I'm overdressed," I whispered as we stepped inside the huge room. When Sandy told me that she was in an art show, I imagined a pristine museum. Instead, the tall brick walls were covered in graffiti. Shorter walls, only about 8 feet tall, created a colorful maze with each surface painted a different solid color and splattered with contrast. Large framed photographs hung under art lights, each with a small plaque to the right. Quiet piano music played in the background, and people mulled around in pairs.

"You would have looked just as beautiful in jeans." His lips softly grazed my ear as he whispered. The proximity sent shivers down my spine. His hand went to the small of my back, with his fingers barely resting against my dress, as we walked forward into the maze.

The photographs were breathtaking. The name of the picture, as well as the photographer, were framed on the plaques. I noticed one of Sandy's near the front. It was a lighthouse, with it's tiny light flared out and facing the lens, under looming dark clouds. In the distance, angry waves broke on the rocky beach.

"Admiring my work?" Sandy was next to me in an instant, her warm hand squeezing my shoulder.

"Its amazing," I said. "How did you make the light flare out like that?"

"Star filter," she said. "I was out there hoping to catch some lightening on the ocean, but the light from the lighthouse kept messing up my metering. So I finally just took a picture of the damn thing. I never did get the lightening, but the lighthouse isn't so bad. Someone liked it, anyway." She pointed to a red sticker on the wall above her plaque.

"Does that mean its sold?" I asked.

She nodded. "The only one tonight so far. Jim, the guy in charge here, wanted it near the front. That's probably the only reason it sold so fast. I have better stuff near the back. Who's your friend?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "Jasper, this is Sandy, the photographer that invited me. Sandy, this is my friend Jasper."

"Its a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," he said politely. "You are quite talented."

"That's nice of you, but don't judge me by this. Not one of my best," she said. She snapped her head around at the sound of her name. A man peeked around a wall across the room and gestured her over. "Damn, you'll have to excuse me. That kid's been on my last nerve all night."

"Is he featured here?" Jasper asked.

"He has two pieces by the exit sign. Poor kid. Its his first show and his knees are knocking. Nobody sells on their first show, but try telling that kid. Location is half the battle and newbies are always in the back. The buyers buy early, get drunk and forget about looking at the rest of the show," she said impatiently. "I have to go get a drink in him. I'll see you two later."

"What's his name?" Jasper asked.

"Jordan Tackett," she said as she turned away.

"I'd like to see his photographs before the evening is over, if you don't mind," Jasper said.

"Then let's start at the back and work our way to the front," I suggested. That brought out the smile I adored, the one that softened his eyes and made my heart race.

We walked through the short halls. I could see his eyes dart from wall to wall. He was reading the names as we went. The crowd thinned the further we went in. Jasper's arm muscles started to tense.

"Are you alright?" I asked. He just nodded.

I had thought that Sandy was joking, but the photographs we were looking for were illuminated both by the white light perched above and the orange cast of the EXIT sign. She was right about it being empty, though. The purple hallway at the end of the maze was vacant.

Jasper let out a small sigh. "I apologize. I don't like being too far from an exit."

"I understand," I said with a smile.

He stepped forward, his topaz eyes growing slightly wider. The photograph that caught his attention was one of Jordan's. In the middle of a large field of white flowers was a rundown tin-roofed house. The endless deep blue sky was filled with puffy clouds, white with a touch of pink.

"What kind of plants are those?" I asked.

"Cotton," he said quietly. "There were fields just like this, where I grew up."

"Texas?"

He nodded. "My family raised cattle, but we used to trade a steer for bushels of cotton. Between that cotton and the wool from our sheep, my mother and sisters were spinning, weaving and knitting all winter long."

"How many sisters did you have?"

"I had two sisters: Mary and Hannah. Mary was two years younger than me, and Hannah was five years younger. I also had a brother, Hiram. He was four years older."

"What was it like? Living on a farm?"

"It was hard work, but we never complained. We were all up before dawn and in bed after the sun set. There was always something to do, and it was always so hot in the summer. Then the sun would set, my mother would bring out tea, and we would watch the fireflies dance. Sometimes my father read from the family Bible, or he would tell us stories about his childhood. I swear, even the animals would quiet to listen to him." His voice trailed off.

"That sounds wonderful," I said.

"It was, for a long time," he said. "My father died. He was bitten by a snake. My brother was old enough to take over. He married a young lady named Beth, and they turned one of the buildings on the property into a home for themselves. My mother said she wanted to take Mary and Hannah and go live with her sister, but I don't know if she ever did. I left for war, and then I was turned. I never saw them again; I didn't think about her for decades."

"I'm sure she knew how much you love her," I said.

"I hope you're right," he said. His hand flattened against my back and pulled me a little closer to him. His lips softly pressed against my hair. My eyes fell shut and I let the feeling of his nearness wash over me.

He relaxed his grip and sighed. "Tell me about your mother," he said as we walked to the next frame.

"She was around my age when she married Charlie, and she left him not long after I was born," I said. "We lived in California and then Phoenix before I came back here."

"What does she like? What are her hobbies?"

"She likes to go out, I guess. She regrets that she got married so young. She always felt like she missed out on something by being tied down," I said flatly. He was getting close to territory I didn't visit.

"How did you feel about that?" he asked. We moved into a green hallway now, and I paused in front of a photograph of a single shriveled leaf falling against a dark background.

"She did her best," I said. "Meeting Phil was the best thing that could happen to her, though. He's really good for her."

We turned around a corner and into a crowd. I looked up to him, silently asking if he was able to handle it, and he nodded slightly. I spotted Sandy at the far end of the hall and gave her a small wave. She cheerfully gestured us over.

"Go ahead, Darlin'," Jasper said quietly. "I'm going to step out for a moment."

"I can come with you," I started to protest, but he held up his hand.

"I will be right back," he said. He stroked my back once before turning back the way we came.

Sandy gave me a knowing smile as I approached her. "So what's the deal with him?" she asked in hushed, conspiratorial tones. "You dating him?"

"I'm...not sure yet," I answered truthfully.

"If he is even half as interested as he looks, you should snatch him up, kid. They just don't make 'em like that anymore," she said with a wistful sigh.

"You got that right," I replied, stifling a giggle. If only she knew how right she was.

"Listen, I have something for you," she said with a wink. "Come with me."

I looked behind me briefly, but Jasper was long gone into the crowd. I was sure he would be able to find me, so I followed her as she ducked behind a wall. It was dark; even with the overhead lights the wall cast a heavy shadow over us. There was a series of lockers against the outer wall. Sandy bent over one of the large silver locks and twisted in the combination.

The lock clicked as it fell ajar. She swung the door open and pulled out a mauve shoulder bag. She peeked inside and nodded to herself before she held it out to me.

"What's this?" I asked.

"One SLR camera, one 50mm lens and my favorite book on exposure," she said. "That should be enough to get you started."

"Wait...what?"

"You have a good eye," she said. "You just need some confidence. The first 500 exposures will be embarrassing, and you'll want to quit, but once you get past them you'll start to see stuff you like."

"I...I can't accept something like this from you," I stammered.

"Of course you can," she said with a smile. "You have it in you to do beautiful and amazing things, kid. If you didn't at least want to, you wouldn't be here tonight. Look, you have the whole world at your feet. Don't waste the next ten years trying to make yourself be something you're not. Try it out. If you don't fall in love, you can give it back the next time I'm in town." I looked at my feet, my cheeks burning. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to try."

"I can't," I said. It was a little concerning how right she was. I always loved taking pictures, but capturing beauty in the way she did seemed out of the realm of my possibilities. But I wanted it. I wanted it so bad I was willing to drive here and back alone.

"Just take it and love it," she said. "It was one of my favorites, and I know it will serve you well. Besides, if no one had taken a chance on me I'd probably be working on my fifth Master's Degree just to avoid actually finding a job. Think of this as me paying it forward."

"I don't know what to say," I said, my hands starting to shake. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, her grin growing wider. "C'mon, we need to go find your friend. They're going to wrap this party in the next 15 minutes."

Jasper was waiting on the other side of the wall. He was standing in front of a photograph of a lone willow tree silhouetted by a rising sun, but his eyes were on me.

"You two want to come to the after-party?" Sandy asked as we approached Jasper.

Even though we both knew that he could feel my trepidation, he looked at me for confirmation. I shook my head so slightly that no one but him could have known.

"Thank you for the invitation," he said politely, "but we have a long drive back to Forks."

"That's a shame," she said. "Next time, get a hotel room and stay the night. Or rather, get a hotel room and sleep it off in the morning. Artist know how to party; that's for sure!"

Just then, Jordan Tackett rushed over to us and grabbed Sandy's hand. "Someone bought one!" he exclaimed. "I sold a piece!"

"Well, I'm impressed!" she said, punching him on the arm. She turned to us. "You two are missing one hell of a party!"

We said our goodbyes and walked out into the brisk night. True to his nature, Jasper slipped off his coat and offered it to me.

"We have some time before we have to leave," he said. "Would you like to go for a walk?"

We strolled down to the harbor just a few blocks away. The water was twinkling under the moonlight as a late boat floated by. I stepped up onto the railing to get a better view, and Jasper rested his hands on the top rail on either side of me. I took a deep breath and held the cold, salty air for a moment before releasing.

"Thank you for inviting me tonight," he said quietly.

"Thank you for coming," I said. "I had a wonderful time."

"Me, too."

I stepped down from the rail. I was relieved that he didn't move away. I leaned back against his chest gently. He held perfectly still, except to rest his chin on the top of my head. I could have stayed there forever with him.

"Why stars?" I asked quietly.

"I chose the yellow envelopes, because yellow represents apology, friendship and new beginnings. When I sent the first one, I never imagined that you would want to be my friend, but I wanted a new beginning for you," he said, his voice soft and thoughtful. "I originally chose the star because it made me think of you. The stars in the sky look like they're right next to each other, but in reality they are light-years apart. You may run with vampires and live with humans, but now you are not wholly one or the other."

"But I am human," I said.

"You are, but you are not the same as you were before. You know our secret, and that sets you apart," he said. "I've always been fascinated by the stars. The stars we see now are the same ones that I saw as a human, even as a child. That thought gave me comfort when I first left Maria to regain my humanity, and whenever I felt lost since. It was what I was doing, staring at the sky, when I learned that the family was leaving Forks. I'm no poet, Bella, but I wanted to impart some of that comfort to you. Do you understand?"

"I think so," I said. His words were beautiful, full of meaning, but they left me with an aching emptiness. I turned around and stared into his eyes. One of his hands released the rail and smoothed down my hair.

"I want to thank you," I said. My hands trembled as my chest grew heavy, but I had to tell him. "I didn't know that they were from you. I didn't open them for a long time. I didn't want comfort. I didn't want to feel better. But even though I ignored them, they made a difference I think. Then when I found out that they were from you...I can't tell you what that means to me."

"You don't have to," he said as his other arm wrapped around me. He pulled me to him and tenderly kissed my forehead. He whispered, "You've done it again. You've made me feel human. I can't tell you what _that_ means to me."

He released me, but offered me his arm to walk back to the truck. My head was swimming. My feelings for Jasper were growing every hour we spent together. Denying that fact was a losing battle. He knew. He knew exactly what I was feeling, but he didn't mention it. I could only guess that he was either too polite to turn me down, or he felt the same way.

Jasper's truck was parked in front of the nearly empty gallery when we returned. A man in a black turtleneck waved to us as we approached.

"All loaded up, Mr. Whitlock," he said as he handed Jasper a set of keys. "We hope to see you again soon."

"The pleasure was mine," Jasper said with a nod. He opened the passenger door and waited for me to climb inside.

Through the dim light of the streetlamp, I was able to discern a large rectangle in the backseat wrapped in brown paper.

"You bought one?" I asked when he was in his seat.

"Jordan Tackett is quite talented," he said with a smile.


	12. Chapter 12 Frost

**A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing. A special thanks goes out to Duskri123 for recommending this story on her two very addictive fics: Someday and Up All Night. She is an outstanding writer and I feel honored that she would recommend me. 3**  
**I do apologize for how long this update had taken. A lot more life got in the way. I also have a project going for NaNoWriMo and a brand new nephew to snuggle and spoil. So I've got a lot of balls in the air. I promise not to forget this story and try to keep my updates at least weekly. **

**~~~ On to the Chapter: ~~~**

My boots crunched through the ice covered snow as I grasped my camera in my gloved hands. There was a hoarfrost the night before and I wanted to capture the large crystals in the early afternoon sunshine.

Sandy was right. My pictures were embarrassing.

I had read the book cover to cover. I knew what had to happen to capture the perfect exposure, but coordinating the ISO, aperture and shutter speed along with the focus was a challenge. Sandy had left her contact information in the bag, so I had been emailing her examples for the last few weeks. I was embarrassed at first, thinking that she would change her mind about her generous gift when she saw how awful I was, but Sandy was patient and kind. She always sent back helpful suggestions.

Charlie had made up with his friends on the Reservation, so he left late that morning to watch Sunday football at the Blacks' house. Winter Break was starting tomorrow, so Jasper was off hunting today. We planned to spend some time together during the day this week while Charlie was at work.

The snow blanketing the ground created a natural sound barrier, making the backyard almost silent. The air was crisp and clean, foreign to me last year but welcome this year. I pointed the camera to an icy tree branch and brought the splinters of ice into focus. Sandy had told me to purposely overexpose or the snowy background would look gray. I stopped down the shutter speed and triggered the shutter.

A conifer just a few feet inside the woods caught my attention, and I awkwardly trudged through the snow toward it. The heavy frost twinkled in the patch of sunlight as I raised my camera. I took a few shots, hoping one of them would turn out.

Despite my boots, my feet were getting cold. I looked down as I started to shake the snow off and froze. Just a couple yards ahead of me were animal prints in the snow. Large animal prints. Cautiously, I took a few more steps forward. The prints were bigger than my hand, and had been made after the frost coated the snow last night. I was a city girl. I knew nothing of the animals in the woods that resided so close to my home, but I knew that I wouldn't want to be alone with the creature that created those tracks. I hurried out of the woods.

I was uploading the pictures to my laptop when I heard tires crunching into the driveway. Jasper never parked in the driveway and it was too early for Charlie to be home. I peeked out the window and saw Jacob walking toward the door. _What does he want?_

Although Charlie was on friendly terms with Billy again, Jacob and I hadn't spoken since Thanksgiving. Charlie told me that Jacob was very sick. He wasn't even at Billy's house when Charlie visited. While I was skeptical, I hoped that it was true. Jacob was a friend; I missed him, and I didn't want to lose him over whatever grudge he held against Jasper and the Cullens.

He knocked, and my jaw clenched as I opened the door for him. I took a step back in surprise. He was tall, several inches taller than he'd been the last time I saw him. His broad shoulders pushed at the seams of his light-weight navy jacket. His face was serious, not menacing but also not playful in the way I remembered it before recent events.

"Can I come in?" he asked politely after a few silent seconds. Too politely. He was being cautious, and it wasn't like him. I stepped aside to give him room to enter.

He kicked off of his gym shoes and walked in. He picked my camera up off the coffee table and rolled it around in his large hands. "When did you get this?" he asked flatly.

"A few weeks ago," I said as I took it from him, unplugged the USB cable and slipped it back into my bag. "What do you want, Jacob?"

He paced around the living room a couple more times before falling back into Charlie's chair. "Look Bella, I came to say I'm sorry. I've been a jerk to you, and it's not your fault."

"You're right," I said. "It's not my fault."

"I just...I had some stuff going on. Some physical stuff."

"You're blaming your attitude on puberty?" I asked incredulously. "That's your excuse?"

"It's not exactly puberty, Bella," he said, his face flushing.

"It's still not an acceptable excuse," I said. "You were way out of line."

"I know," he said, his patience waning. "That's why I said that I'm a jerk and I'm sorry."

"That's not good enough!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm still mad at you!" I crossed my arms over my chest and seethed at him.

He stood up. "Just calm down a sec," he said, his breathing heavy.

"Why? Because you said sorry so now I'm just supposed to be alright? It doesn't work that way, Jacob Black. It's not that easy. You need to tell me why you acted like that."

"Keep yelling and you'll find out!" he shouted as he started to walk toward the kitchen.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because I can't!"

"Get out," I said. "I don't want any superficial apologies."

He took off across the kitchen, threw the back door open and bolted out. I ran after him, stepping out onto the porch. His running form disappeared into the treeline. His shoes were still sitting on the front porch, so he had ran across the backyard and into the woods in his socks. _Moron._

I slipped my boots back on and grabbed his shoes. Even if Jacob was a moron and a jerk, I didn't want him to lose his toes. I followed his footprints in the snow, holding his shoes by the laces. About ten feet into the woods, I noticed a piece of gray fabric sitting on top of the snow. I picked it up, surprised that it was warm to the touch. It was a men's sock, but how did it get out here on top of the snow?

The next discovery was even more chilling. A few feet ahead, Jacob's footprints disappeared. In their place was his torn jacket and the large animal prints from earlier. My heart skipped a beat.

"Jacob!" I screamed. _The animal must have taken him._ "Jacob! Where are you?"

I knew I had to get out of there, back into the safety of my house, but I couldn't leave Jacob. I called for him again and again, my feet unwilling to move forward to find him or backward to get home.

Seconds moved like hours before I spied movement ahead of me. From behind a snow covered bush came a wolf that was easily the size of a small horse. The monstrous brown creature stared at me, it's brown fur rising and falling with it's smoky breaths.

My heart was pounding in my ears. With clenched fists, I slowly took one step back. No sudden movements. I couldn't remember if I was supposed to meet a threatening dog in the eyes or look to the ground, so I kept my gaze on the animal's feet.

It's head snapped to my right, and in the distance I saw another wolf. It had gray fur with black spots. The gray wolf ignored me altogether, instead staring intently at the brown one. I took a couple more steps back, thankful for the momentary distraction, but froze when the brown one turned it's attention back to me with a thunderous growl. The gray one barked a short growl in return, but turned and leaped away into the snowy forest.

The brown wolf took a couple calculated steps toward me, then started to change. It's fur shimmered in the sparkling snow. In the blink of an eye, the wolf was no more, and in it's place was a very naked Jacob. Everything went black.

The next memory I have is something warm on my face, a buzzing sound and my name being whispered a thousand miles away. The noise got stronger and louder until I opened my eyes to Jacob's worried eyes.

"Bella? Are you alright?" he asked, probably not for the first time.

"What?"

I was inside my living room again, on Charlie's recliner. The only indication that the events playing over again in my mind were at all possible was Jacob's bare chest.

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way," Jacob said as he pushed a glass of water into my hand. _Buzz._

"Find out?" I didn't even know what to ask without sounding crazy.

"It's hard to control," he said. "Sam says it gets easier, but when you're mad it's damn near impossible."

"What's hard to control?" _Buzz._

"Bella, I can't say it unless you acknowledge what you saw," he said as he sat back on his heels.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn't enough. I reached out and pinched my arm, squinting my eyes at the sharp pain. Jacob pushed my hand away.

"What did you do that for?" he asked sharply. _Buzz._

"I don't know, Jake. Maybe just trying to confirm that I'm not hallucinating?"

"You're not, but I'm serious. I can't tell you anything until you tell me that you already know," he said.

"Alright. I think I'm crazy, but I thought I saw a huge wolf that turned into you," I said. _Buzz._ "What is that buzzing sound?"

Jacob picked up my cell phone from the coffee table and handed it to me. "It hasn't stopped ringing since I brought you back into the house."

I looked at the caller ID and then flipped the phone open.

"Bella?" came Jasper's voice.

"Yeah, it's me," I said.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" he said urgently.

"No, I'm fine. Just a little scare, I think," I said.

"I'm on my way. I can be there in twenty minutes," he said.

"No, really, I'm fine. Stay and finish. I'd rather you finish now than have to leave early this week," I said, carefully choosing my words in front of Jacob.

"Are you sure?" Jasper said.

"Positive. I'll call you back in a little bit." I let the phone drop from my ear and close in my hands.

"What the hell is going on, Jacob?"

"Do you remember that legend I told you about the 'Cold Ones' and the wolves?" he asked.

"You were serious. Your people really turn into wolves?"

"I wasn't serious back then, but yeah, that covers it. When there are vampires around, descendants of my tribe develop the ability to phase into wolves."

"Vampires?"

"Don't pretend, Bella. We know," he said with a stern look.

"And why couldn't you just tell me all of this? Why the guessing games?" I returned his attitude.

"Because Sam is the pack leader and he ordered me not to reveal it to you. If I disobeyed him...I just can't disobey him," he said with a tone of finality.

"You've got to give me a minute here, Jake," I said as I leaned back into the chair.

"Bella, I am truly sorry," Jacob said as he knelt before me. "For the things I said in the truck, and at Thanksgiving and today. Most of those things, it didn't even feel like I was saying them. It was like I couldn't control it. I hate that part of myself."

"You mean, you're sorry but you still feel that way?" I said flatly.

"No, I mean I feel like the part of me that said those things is here to stay. It's gotten easier to control since the change, but it's still there." He sighed heavily, and then offered me a small smile. "I still don't like Edward Cullen."

"I don't either," I said.

"I know. I believe you," he said.

"Welcome back, Jake," I said, smiling at him for the first time in weeks.

It was like the air was finally clear between us. Jasper's words echoed in my thoughts as I talked with Jacob. Keeping Edward's secret was a big job, and in many ways it kept me from really talking to other people. I always had to watch my words. It was nice to let my guard down a bit.

Jacob was the fifth boy at La Push to experience the change. He phased for the first time on Thanksgiving not long after Charlie and I had left. His rising body temperature and short temper were apparently tell-tale signs of his condition.

"Why wouldn't Billy uninvite us if he knew that you were so close?" I asked.

His face grew more serious. "I think he wanted to pump you for information."

"About the Cullens?"

Jacob nodded. "It was stupid. Risky. If I hadn't gotten out of that house in time, I don't want to think about what could have happened. The first few times you phase, it's like you don't even remember that you're a person."

"So he was willing to risk.."

"Too much," Jacob finish for me. "He thinks they're connected to the others."

"Other vampires? Besides the Cullens?"

"Some, yeah. We've been able to keep them away for the most part." He stood up and looked toward the door. "I have to go get my tail chewed," he said with a laugh.

"What do you mean?"

"You can't hear the calls?" he asked. When I shook my head, he continued, "I didn't directly disobey Sam, but I found a way around his order."

"By infuriating me until I yelled at you and you lost your temper?" I asked sarcastically.

"Actually, yes," he said with a smug grin. "You really did get me angry enough to phase, so even though I was egging you on, I didn't directly disobey him. He still won't be happy, though."

We stood up and he wrapped his warm arms around me. Even after the hurt feelings and silent treatments, I missed this. He was a good friend, and he could make me smile. He promised to call me after he had his "talk" with the pack, and left.

As soon as his car disappeared down the street, I called Jasper to tell him everything.


	13. Chapter 13 Corn Bread

**Thank you so much for the support! I know I've been dragging my feet with this chapter, but I think it'll be worth it. ;) Characters/setting belong to their creator. **

**~~~~~ On to the chapter: ~~~~~  
**

I woke up Monday morning to the sun stinging my eyes. The sun? I groaned as I rolled out of bed and stared out the window. Sure enough, it was a rare cloudless day. I would have appreciated the sparkling of the snow if I wasn't so annoyed. Jasper and I were supposed to spend the day together today. Would he still want to if we would have to be stuck indoors?

Charlie was finishing his bowl of cereal when I came downstairs. He nodded to me as he chewed. I grabbed a glass of orange juice and flicked on the television to the weather channel. Sunny and cold. Terrific.

"What are your plans for today?" Charlie asked as he came into the living room to pull his coat out of the closet.

"I don't know," I said. "I was going to hang out with Jasper, but I don't know if we're still on."

"You two fight?" he asked, sounding suprised.

I shook my head. "Everything is fine. He just hasn't confirmed the plans." At least, not since I've seen the weather. Last night, the forecast said partly cloudy. Where were my clouds?

"Okay," he said, pushing his arms through the sleeves. "I'll be home around seven tonight. Stay out of trouble."

"I'll try," I said. He smirked, then picked up his keys and left for the day.

As soon as his car pulled away from the house, I heard my cell phone buzzing upstairs. I rushed up the steps and picked it up before it went to voice mail. "Hey, you," Jasper greeted me.

"Hi," I said. "How are you?"

"Very well," he said pleasantly. "And you? Did you sleep well?"

"I slept fine, but I'm not happy about the weather."

"I noticed it," he said. "Would you like to come to my house for the day?"

"Yes!" I said, a little too enthusiastically. I toned it down a bit. "Sure, that sounds fine. I don't think I remember how to get there, though."

He gave me directions and I told him I would be there in an hour. I showered and chose a soft green sweater and jeans to wear. I grabbed my purse, but on second thought I took my camera bag as well. I hoped that Jasper would be a willing model for me, but even if he wouldn't then I could at least show him the pictures I'd taken.

I was surprised that I wasn't nervous on the drive over. Jasper and I shared a long phone conversation the night before, and Jacob was only the catalyst. I told him what happened. He, of course, knew that the boys of La Push were able to shift into the form of a wolf. He hadn't seen Jacob as a wolf, though he had seen a couple of the others. He assured me that if he knew for sure that Jacob had phased, he would have told me, if only to keep Jacob from doing something stupid and reckless like phasing in front of me. That lead to a conversation about honesty and integrity. Somehow, that turned into a conversation about music. I was really hoping to convince Jasper to play his guitar for me.

I drove right past the Cullen turn off without sparing them a glance. The pain and emptiness that filled my chest after Edward left was gone. Driving by their old house didn't fill me with longing or regret. It was simply a drive that I had once made, but never would again. I had better places to go.

Jasper opened the door for me as soon as I pulled up to his house. He didn't step outside, just waited in the shadow behind the door. I wondered at his shyness. I knew that he was a vampire, and that he sparkled in the sunlight. He didn't have to hide from anyone back in this remote location. But, I wasn't going to push him.

"Hey, you," he said as I stepped inside.

"Hey," I smiled back at him. The air was thick with a savory sweet scent. "Are you cooking?"

"I thought you might be hungry," he said with a smile.

He walked me into the kitchen and pulled out one of the wooden chairs at his dining room table. I sat graciously and he came back with a plate in his hands. He set it in front of me. It was the most amazing corn bread I'd ever seen.

"Corn bread for breakfast?" I asked, obviously pleased.

"It wasn't uncommon when I was young," he said. "I waited on the eggs because I didn't know how you liked them."

"Thank you, but I think the bread will be enough," I said as I picked off a warm corner and popped it into my mouth.

"Let me know if you change your mind. It isn't any trouble," he said as he sat across from me.

"Does it smell good to you?" I asked. He cocked his head to the side at my question, so I clarified, "You said you used to have cornbread for breakfast when you were young. Does it still smell good, even though it's not something you would eat now?"

"I still enjoy the scent, but it doesn't smell like food now. I could compare it to the way that some people enjoy the scent of a summer rainfall or freshly fallen snow. It's familiar. It doesn't revolt me the way most food does."

"What about the eggs? Would they smell good or bad?" I asked.

"They would smell unpleasant, but tolerable," he said.

"What's the difference? I'm sure you had plenty of eggs when you were young," I said.

"Part of it would be that the scent of any cooked meat or meat by product is generally the most revolting," he said. "I believe the reason the bread is pleasing has to do with the memories I attach to it. I can clearly recall my mother baking corn bread in her cast iron skillet, even when it was sweltering. It was my father's favorite."

"Is this her recipe?"

"No, but I believe it is close. I can recall the smell, and even the taste, but not exactly how it was made. Even if I could taste her bread out of her very hands again, I wouldn't recognize it now." His face was unreadable as he watched me from across the table.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

I finished the food and stood to take my plate to the sink. In a blur of motion the plate was gone from my hand and Jasper was standing at the sink washing it.

"Thanks," I said, a little breathless. Watching him, something clicked in my mind. He hadn't offered me the eggs again. "Did you know that I was full?" I asked.

"You weren't?" he turned to look at me.

"No, I am." I crossed my arms, debating whether or not I should press on.

He dried the plate and put it in the cupboard above the sink. "What's on your mind?" he asked.

"Can you feel when other vampires are thirsty?" I asked cautiously.

He nodded. "I can, but that's nothing special. Anyone could just look at their eyes and know."

"True, but if you feel it and you're thirsty too, does that make you more thirsty?" He tried to interrupt me, but I kept talking. "On my birthday, if the other five were thirsty then that just makes you five times as thirsty as you already were, right?"

"It doesn't matter," he said.

"But it does matter! Don't you see? That means that everyone shares the blame. It means that you are stronger than you think. It means -"

"None of that matters," he interrupted sternly. "You have a habit of excusing the people you care about from their bad behavior. I've seen you improving with that, so please don't start doing it with me now. You offered me your forgiveness, and I am grateful for that. I will not accept you trying to marginalize my actions."

"You're really willing to accept responsibility for every other vampire in that room that wanted to drain me?" I shot back.

"I am what I am, Bella. I can't change my ability, even if it can sometimes be a curse." He sighed and stepped forward until he was standing inches from me. In a softer tone, he continued, "If I have to develop a stronger resolve than any other vampire to maintain this lifestyle, then that is what I will do. Until I perfect it, I will have to remain outside of a coven. Even if my ability is the reason that I attacked you that day, it is not an excuse. Please, hold me to your highest standards. I would rather spend the rest of my days reaching for excellence than excelling at mediocrity."

"You'll never be mediocre." The words left my mouth before I had time to think, and I instantly felt my cheeks grow red.

"I could say the same about you, Darlin'," he said, brushing my cheek with his finger. "I'm sorry about my tone."

"Don't be," I said, cupping his hand against my face. The way he held me with his eyes made my heart pound. I wanted to be closer to him, in his arms.

"Come with me," he said, taking my hand and leading out of the kitchen and up the steps.

The upstairs was one long room with sloping ceilings, but that wasn't what I first noticed about it. The light. There were large windows at each end of the room, and sky lights running along the length of the ceiling. I could perfectly see the strikingly blue winter skies all around me.

The skin on Jasper's face and hands was iridescent in the streaming light. "I know how you feel about me, Bella," he whispered.

"I figured," I said lamely. I should have been mortified, and maybe I was on some level, but I was eager to see where he was going with this.

"I feel it, too," he said. "Yesterday, when you were scared, I could feel you. I was nearly on the other side of the state. My ability has never worked from such a distance before. There is something about you."

"What is it?" I asked.

Jasper walked into the middle of the room. "There's something I want you to know first. If you're frightened or disgusted, I'll understand. If it changes your opinion of me, I'll understand. I can't let this stay in the dark any longer, so please be honest with me, and not just because I'll know if you lie," he said, his hands on his collar.

It seemed to happen in slow motion, the way he pulled his charcoal gray sweater over his head. He wore a white undershirt beneath it, but quickly took that off as well. For a long moment, I was blinded by the his radiance. As my eyes adjusted, I could see dull marks along his glowing skin. I took a step toward him, my eyes squinting to focus. Crescent scars marked his skin, matching my own on my arm.

"Are they bite marks?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"Yes. Every one of them tells the story of a life I ended. There were many more that never had the chance to fight back." He extended his arms to the side, as if expecting me to count them.

I closed the distance between us and hesitantly reached out to trace one near his collarbone with my finger. The skin was cool and distorted over the mark, just like mine. I brought my lips to his chest and kissed the scar.

"They are more visible to vampires," he said, watching me closely. "Vampires are usually terrified."

I pulled up my sleeve to reveal the mark in my arm. "A scar is a reminder of something that the owner had to overcome. You've just had to overcome more than me," I said, looking from my arm into his eyes. "I know what you are capable of, and I don't care. I know that you won't hurt me."

"You've done it again," he said, bringing his hands to my face. "You've made me feel human."

"You have more humanity than most of the people I know," I said.

Jasper smiled and pulled me closer to him. I felt a spark of electricity pass between us as he gently pressed his cool, soft lips into mine. We were connected, and it felt like I could feel all of his tenderness pouring into me. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. His were still the color of honey. He pulled me into an embrace, and I wrapped my arms around him.

"It was easier than I thought," he whispered. "Kissing you is as easy as falling for you, Darlin'."


	14. Chapter 14 Strumming

**Setting and characters belong to their creators.**

**Hello everyone! I know I've been gone for a while. I don't want to air everything out publically, but we had a personal issue at the end of November and I haven't felt up to writing. I needed to concentrate on my family for a bit. I think I'm ready to be back now. Thank you for waiting patiently for me, and for the kind words in the interim. **

* * *

Gentle strumming filled the air as I lay on my stomach on the bed in the upstairs bedroom of Jasper's home. He had put his undershirt back on, but left off his sweater. The sunlight danced off of his iridescent skin as his fingers expertly moved along the neck of his guitar. I pulled his pillow close, inhaling deeply. I had lost track of time. Jasper was doing an adequate job of keeping me entertained.

"You're hungry," he said after he finished another unnamed song.

"I'd rather watch you play," I said with a smile.

"You'll enjoy it more if you aren't distracted by hunger," he said. He stood from the corner armchair and leaned his instrument against the wall.

I sighed in agreement. I pushed myself up from the bed and took his offered hand. He brought my hand to his lips and gently pressed them into my palm before pulling me to him and kissing my lips.

We could do that now. If I wanted to kiss him, he would know and oblige. The guessing games and mixed signals were things of the past. Things of _our_ past. It felt like everything had changed in the course of an afternoon. Yet, I was still filled with questions.

His pantry was well stocked for a man that didn't eat. I remembered what he had said about meat, so I decided to make a quick salad. Jasper chopped the lettuce in a blur of motion. He sat across from me, watching me eat as he had that morning.

That morning seemed like a different time, something left behind. Jasper had told me that kissing me was easy for him, easier than he thought it was going to be. I had spent so long in denial about my feelings for Jasper, I hadn't considered how much Edward had struggled. I didn't think about how difficult it was supposed to be for Jasper. On the other hand, I had spent more time in close proximity to Jasper.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked. When I hesitated, he smiled and gently encouraged me. "Just tell me, Bella."

"I was thinking about what you said earlier," I said. "When you said that it was easy to..."

"Kiss you," he said, his voice low and sweet. It sent a shiver through my spine.

"Yes. I was just wondering why," I said, blushing.

"I think you were onto it earlier," he said. "There was a part of me that was thirsty, for a brief second. But I could _feel _you. Your feelings echoed mine; it was like you were amplifying all the right things. The thirst just faded away."

"You knew that would happen?"

He shook his head. "I couldn't know for sure, but it felt _right_ to me. I've wanted to kiss you before today. I have considered telling you about my feelings for you many times. After I felt you yesterday from so far away, I couldn't deny it any longer. I was prepared to run, if the thirst was too strong. I can't tell you how amazing it was to be so close to you and feel my inhuman desires melt away."

I was breathless at his words. "I thought maybe it was just because you've been around humans more. You know, the 'people skills' you've been working on."

"I'm nowhere near safe enough to be with you. If you didn't reciprocate my feelings, I don't think I could have controlled myself. The only reason _we_ can work is because of you." He stood up from his chair and walked behind mine. I felt his lips against my hair as he sighed. "Finish your food. I'm afraid I'm distracting you."

"I like it," I replied.

"I do too, but I want your full attention. Tend to your needs, then meet me in the den," he whispered in my ear.

He was seated on the sofa waiting for me. My camera bag and purse were sitting on the coffee table in front of him. I sat down next to him. His hand was instantly rubbing my back. Despite his cool skin, a warm and comforting feeling saturated me wherever he touched.

"What time is it?" I asked as I peeked into my purse for my phone. I pulled it out and sighed. The screen was black and lifeless.

"Do you have the cord with you?" he asked. "It can charge while we look through your pictures."

I pulled the cord out of my camera bag, tucked away with the battery charger and USB cable for the camera. He took both the cord and phone from my hands and walked back into the kitchen.

"You have missed calls," he said.

"From who?"

"You should come check the voice mail, Bella," he said seriously. "One of these calls is from the hospital."

"The hospital?" I jumped up and scrambled into the kitchen.

Jasper was seated at the kitchen table, the phone in his hand. I resumed my old seat and grabbed it from him. I scrolled through the missed calls. The first was from Charlie's phone, the second from Jacob's home number, two from unidentified numbers and a final one with a local exchange. I frantically pushed the buttons that took me to the voice mail.

Charlie's voice came on the line. "Hey, Bells. It's your dad. Listen, my friend Harry is sick. His wife thinks he needs to go to the hospital, but you know how those guys are about going to our hospitals. Sue would rather have him break tradition than stay there and get worse. She called me at the station. I got off work early and I'm going down there to try to talk some sense into him. I don't know when I'll be home. Just give me a call when you get this. OK, bye."

That sounded like Charlie: always coming to someone's rescue.

_Beep._

Jacob, obviously angry or panicked, shouted into the phone. "Bella, where the hell are you? What's the point of having a damn phone if you don't pick it up?"

_Beep._

"Miss Swan, this is Officer Harper down at Forks PD. Can you please call the station as soon as you get this message?" The voice was polite in a forced sort of way.

_Beep._

There was one hang up between the last message and the one that finally gave me an answer.

"Miss Swan, my name is Hillary and I'm a nurse calling from the emergency department of Forks Community Hospital. We have your father Charlie here. I need you to return our call as soon as possible or come on down here."

I let the phone slip out of my hand and fall to the floor.


	15. Chapter 15 Scenery

I don't remember the ride to the hospital. I know that Jasper drove his truck and his cool hand never left mine. I remember the sensation of hot tears running down my face and feeling like I was a thousand miles away. I remember the large hooded jacket and gloves that covered almost every inch of Jasper's skin. But the roads, houses and trees streaked by without consequence.

"This is the family for Charlie Swan," Jasper told the lady behind a large desk in the Emergency Room.

"He was brought here earlier, but he's been admitted. You'll have to go to the front desk to get a visitor pass," she replied. My father was as meaningless to her as the scenery of the drive was to me. He was just part of the background, something that had came and went with no lasting impression.

She had started to give directions, but Jasper clasped my hand and led me away. Moving with ease and familiarity, we were soon in the main lobby. Jasper repeated my father's name to a receptionist.

"Room 271 in the North Ward," she said, handing him a pair of visitor badges. "Do you need a map?"

Jasper didn't answer her, just whisked me away again. We didn't stop moving until we reached the elevators at the other side of this hospital. With a ding a pair of doors slid open. We stepped inside and the doors shut behind us.

"Bella," Jasper whispered, his gloved fingers intertwined with mine. "The area of the hospital where your father is staying...there are often wounds."

"Don't leave," I said as I reached for him.

"I plan to stay by your side," he said soothingly. "But I'm going to try not to speak. If I inhale even the smallest amount of air..."

I released his hand and tugged the glove off. They were stuffed into the pocket of his jacket, and I slipped my fingers between his once again. "I'm not thirsty," I whispered. He nodded his understanding and took a deep breath as the door slid open.

"I'm here to see my dad," I told the gruff looking nurse at the station. "His name is Charlie Swan."

She clicked her tongue as she rapidly typed. She shook her head. "He has two visitors already. You'll have to wait."

I paused, taken aback. "But, it's my dad."

"I can have a nurse go back and tell his visitors that you're there, but you're still going to have to wait until one or both of them come out. Only two visitors at a time." She was firm, her eyes daring me to defy her.

"Michelle, this is Chief Swan's only daughter. She is going to see him _now_," Jasper said. He wasn't harsh, but he left no room for argument. My hand still in his, he walked past the desk toward a room on the left side of the hall.

Nurse Michelle seemed dazed for a moment, clearly not used to taking orders from anyone except doctors, but she rushed to catch up with us. Jasper didn't spare her a glance as he pushed open the heavy gray door to my father's hospital room.

My father was prone on the bed, covered in white sheets and wires as machines beeped rhythmically all around him. Billy looked up from his wheelchair, parked next to my father's bed. Jacob threw back a pink padded chair as he jumped to his feet. "About damn time," he spat.

"Bella needs to see her father. You two need to step out," Jasper stated matter-of-factly.

"To hell with that! I don't take orders from a leech." Jacob had lost all of his fun and happy nature. He was ready to fight.

"Hey!" The nurse was standing in the doorway, her phone out of it's holster on her hip. "Two of you get out and all of you calm down or I'm calling Security."

"He needs to get out!" Jacob pointed to Jasper with disgust. "He has no place here."

"Calm down," Jasper said. His demeanor had changed. He jaw relaxed, and he focused on Jake. "Billy, I think all three of us should step out for a moment."

Something flashed between Jasper and Billy then. For a second Billy glared with obvious distrust, but then an understanding or realization washed over him. "Let's go get a snack, Jacob. We'll all give Bella a minute with Charlie."

"I'm not leaving." Jacob was breathing heavier with each passing second, his eyes ablaze. I heard the nurse's footsteps leaving the room as she dialed her phone.

Jacob was going to phase.

Jasper's grip on my hand grew tighter, but a calmness fell over the room. His eyes were locked on Jacob, as if he were willing the change to abate. "I'll be back," he whispered in my ear.

Jacob wobbled in place, as if he were having trouble standing. Billy wheeled his chair around, pushing into Jacob's shins. Jacob staggered forward, and in an instant Jasper had him by the arm. Jasper led the other two from the room. As they left, they took the serenity with them.

I picked up the pink chair Jacob had knocked over, and dragged it to Charlie's bedside. I sat with him and held his cool hand.

"Dad?"

He didn't respond.

Michelle never came back, but a different nurse appeared after a while. Dawn was younger, only a few years older than me. She parted her short chestnut hair on the side, and insisted on calling me "sweetie".

"You father is in pretty bad shape, sweetie," she said sympathetically as she cocked her head slightly. "He has some broken bones, but we're most concerned about the bleeding inside his body. The surgeons repaired it, but we won't know how bad the damage is unless he wakes up."

He'd had surgery. In the time I'd lost at Jasper's, my father had surgery.

"I can't tell you much more than that. His doctor went home for the day. I can get the on-call, but it would probably be better to speak to his doctor when he makes rounds in the morning."

"Can I stay here?" I asked.

"There isn't really anything you can do tonight, sweetie. It's just wait and see."

"I want to stay," I said a little more forcefully.

"I'm sorry. Visiting hours are over in about twenty minutes, sweetie. I can get special permission for you to be here for rounds. You can come back tomorrow morning at seven." She smiled, as if her favor made up for my father's health.

"What if he wakes up...alone?"

"I just started my shift. I'll be here all night. I'll probably see you in the morning, as a matter of fact. Do you have a cell phone? I can write down your number and call you if there's a change," Dawn said sweetly.

"Take my number," Jasper said. I spun around to see him leaning against the doorway. "My phone has a full charge."

Dawn literally batted her eyes at him. "Give me your number, sweetie," she said with too much enthusiasm.

He recited the numbers as he made his way to me. He swooped down to softly kiss my forehead. "Please don't hesitate to call if there is any change. I'll be awake and by Bella's side all night."

She took the hint, but with a good nature. "Fifteen minutes, guys," she said as she left the room.

I kissed my father on the cheek and whispered, "I love you, Dad," in his ear. Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist and led me out of the hospital.


	16. Chapter 16 North

**Thank you, my loyal readers as well as the newbies, for your patience and love. The last few months have been difficult for me, and my heart is warmed to be welcomed back with open arms. **

**Thank you, also, to the Fellowship of the Peen. Reading that I was rec'd there just brightened my day.**

**Some questions are answered in this chapter, but not all. I hope you enjoy it. :)**

* * *

It was dusk when Jasper and I walked out to his truck. It was hard to believe that I spent a couple hours with Charlie, but the sun didn't lie. Jasper slipped his gloves onto my hands, shielding them from the bitter cold.

Jasper remained quiet until we were in the cab of his truck waiting for the engine to warm. "Your father's friend is dead," he said, his eyes cast down at the steering wheel. "I'm sorry."

"Harry Clearwater? Did you talk to Jacob?"

"His father, Billy, spoke with me briefly. They want you to stay with them on the Reservation until your father is well enough to go home." He seemed to stress his belief that Charlie would recover. I appreciated that.

"Is that all they said? What about the other car?" Jasper looked at me quizzically for a moment, so I continued, "It was a car accident, right? The nurse didn't tell me directly, but what else could it have been?"

"They were in your father's car, but there was no collision. Not with another car, at least. Billy said that the police believed they hit a deer or another large animal. Billy, Jacob and Harry's wife were following your father and Harry to the hospital a few minutes behind. Billy is the one that called 911 when they came upon the car." The truck jumped slightly when Jasper put it in gear.

"Can I stay with you?" I blurted out. "I don't want to be alone, and I don't want to stay with Jacob right now."

He took my hand and brought it to his lips. "You are always welcome in my home, Darlin'. But I'm sure you want a change of clothes, don't you?" I nodded. "We'll go to your home first. Then I can stay with you there, or you can come stay with me. It's your choice."

I leaned over and rested my head against his shoulder. I felt his lips tenderly kiss my forehead, and his arm wrap around my shoulders. It felt like my last conversation with Charlie was years ago. Leaving him behind at the hospital tore at my heart. He shouldn't be alone.

After a few minutes of driving Jasper's shoulders heaved with a sigh. "We're being followed," he said as his eyes focused on the rear-view mirror. "The Blacks want to make sure that you go home with them." Before I could protest, he promised, "You won't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'll deal with them."

Tires crunched against the gravel driveway as Jasper's truck and Jacob's car parked in front of the house I shared with my father. Before I could rise to sitting, Jacob was at my window.

"Pack a bag and get in my car," he said as he pulled my door open.

"I'm not going with you," I said. "I'm staying here."

"No, you're not," Jasper said, his face rising to the stars. In a flash, he was toe to toe with Jacob. "You fool," he accused, his eyes blazing with fury.

"Hey, I'm just trying to keep her safe," Jacob shot back.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"A vampire has been here," Jasper said, his eyes never leaving Jacob's. "Recently."

"Another vampire," Jacob corrected.

"Who?" I asked.

"This is familiar to you," Jasper said to Jacob. "You know this scent."

"It was at the accident scene," Jacob answered. "I called the pack. They tried to track it, but they lost it at the docks. It must have boarded a ship or something."

"Or they just lost the scent. You could have been leading us into a trap." Jasper's eyes flickered to the car. He raised his voice so Billy could hear him. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"We don't share our problems with _the_ problem," Jacob answered for Billy.

"This house is not on your side of the border. This is not solely _your _problem."

"There was a vampire here and where my dad's car wrecked?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," Jacob said, his voice softening. "The pack won't let anything happen to you."

"But did this vampire have something to do with what happened to my dad?" I asked, my voice getting shrill.

"I don't know," Jacob said.

"He's lying," Jasper countered.

"Don't you care about her feelings? Do you think she really wants to hear this?" Jacob threw his arms in the air.

"She asked, didn't she?" Jasper seemed to stand several inches taller, and it was like the sky darkened with his mood. I shivered, in spite of my solid conviction that I was safe with Jasper.

"Fine." Jacob turned to me. "I didn't have much time before the ambulance go there, but yeah, it looked suspicious. Something hit the car from the passenger side. Hard. It threw the car so hard that it cracked the tree it landed on. A deer couldn't do that, and it definitely couldn't do it and live to tell the tale. The passenger door, that was hit, reeked of vampire." He shook his head and reached a hand to me. I let it hang in the air until he dropped it back to his side. "You just have a lot to worry about right now, and I didn't want to upset you until we caught it and killed it."

"Did your friends search the house?" Jasper asked. Jacob shook his head. "Then we have to. Just because the vampire is no longer here doesn't mean nothing was left behind. Bella, will you stay here with Jacob for a moment?"

"I want to stay with you," I said, reaching for him.

"I know." He took my hand and squeezed it gently. "But one of us needs to stay with you, and Jacob is slower and more fragile than I am. He should stay put while I sweep the house. Is that alright with you, Darlin'?"

"No, but I underst-" He vanished into the darkness before I finished the last word.

"Bella, you'll be safer on the Res with us," Jacob said. "Look, I'm sorry I've been such a jerk lately, but you have to know that I care about you, right?"

"I know, Jake. But I feel safer with him."

Jasper reappeared before us, his face calmer than before. "It's clean," he said.

"Let's go, then," I said. Jasper rested his hand on the small of my back and led me toward the house.

Jacob stared after us for a minute, then stomped over to his car. As Jasper opened the front door for me, Jacob peeled off into the night.

I took the hottest shower of my life, washing away all of the pain from the last few hours. I had one pair of real pajamas, fleece pants with a matching top, and thankfully it was clean. I pulled it on and walked downstairs, where Jasper was waiting for me with a mug of hot chocolate, cooled with milk.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Jasper asked as I folded myself onto the couch to nurse the cup in my hands.

"Who was the vampire, Jasper? Do you know?" I asked.

"I do know. It was Victoria, the remainder of the three we met while playing baseball."

"What does she want?"

"The one that Emmett and I killed, James, was her mate. Generally, vampires mate for 'life'. Killing her mate...it was like killing part of her. Even though he deserved it, she wants revenge."

"So I did this? My dad is hurt, could die, because of me."

Jasper was surrounding me in a moment, his strong arms cradling me against him. "You can't think that, Darlin'. The things that happened, they happened because of the choices of Edward and James. You had nothing to do with it. You were just caught in the middle of their deadly game."

"I don't want to be here. She's been in here and I don't want to be here." The tears were spilling down my face, and my voice was shaking.

In his unnatural speed, Jasper packed an overnight bag for me, washed my mug, and picked me up. Holding me tenderly, he pulled the front door open only to find Jacob standing on the stoop wearing a tattered pair of sweat pants and no shoes. He must have phased after dropping Billy off at home and ran over here.

"Where are you going?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Jasper's."

"Look, if you want to stay here we can guard the house. But I'm not playing pet to a leech." Jacob crossed his arms.

"Do you think your goal is so different from mine?" Jasper asked, his fingers wrapping around my body just a touch tighter. "You care for Bella. She knows it, just as I know it. I care for her, too. I want her safe and happy with every fiber of my being. I know you hate that she was brought into this world, and in a way I do too. If you want to hate someone for that, hate Edward. He put her in danger and then walked away. I'm not going anywhere." Jacob shifted uncomfortably. Jasper carried me over to the note pad next to the phone and jotted something on the top page. He ripped it out and pushed it into Jacob's hand. "That is my cell number. I formally request a meeting with the pack to discuss this new threat and offer my service in eliminating it."

"Why would we want your help?" Jacob tried to sound tough, but his eyes were wide with questions he wanted to ask.

"I want the rogue vampire, and any vampire that feeds on humans, far away from Forks. I want Bella safe. We want the same things, Jacob. Discuss it with your pack and call me tomorrow." He flicked off the light and stepped onto the porch, pulling the door closed behind him.

"Bella, do you want to go with him?" Jacob asked. His voice had lost the hard edge it carried earlier in the night.

"Yes. It was my idea, Jake."

With that, Jacob stepped aside and let Jasper carry me to his truck and drive me to his home.

When we got there, Jasper carried me upstairs to his bed. Tears flow fresh as I remembered how happy and carefree we were there just a few hours before. Jasper stretched out next to me, stroking my hair soothingly.

"Go ahead," I whispered, knowing he could hear me. My heart and body ached.

"Do you know how to find the North Star, Darlin'?" he whispered as I felt his influence falling over me. I shook my head. "You have to find the Big Dipper first. Then you draw a line through the two stars on the outer edge and follow that to the tip of the Little Dipper. That's the North Star." I followed his finger with my heavy eyes. "All the other stars in the sky rotate round it. It's the only constant. The only one that stays in the same place night after night, unchanging."

I'm sure he said more. He may have spent the rest of the night pointing out constellations to me. But those are the last words I remembered as I drifted off to sleep in his arms under the stars.


	17. Chapter 17 Awake

**Thank you all for your warm reception. I especially want to thank Nauticalmass for rec'ing DS on her wonderful story, Leaves of Grass. I'm sorry I haven't had the time to respond to comments this week, but I read and loved them all. :)**

* * *

Hospitals always smell the same: antiseptic, latex, and fear. But the distinct scent is never so strong as it is before dawn.

Jasper woke me up that morning, if 5:45 am is really considered morning, with coffee and scrambled eggs. I could tell that he had snuck away at some point during the night to hunt; his eyes were a light shade of gold. He warmed up the truck while I dressed, and we arrived at the hospital shortly after 6:30 am. The whole time, he stayed quiet. I appreciated that, as there wasn't much I wanted to talk about.

When we walked into his room, Charlie looked at me. He was awake.

"Dad?" Shocked, I approached his bedside slowly.

He didn't say anything; he still had a tube in his mouth. But he could look at me and squeeze my hand.

The doctor, Dr. Shah, came in a few minutes later to examine him. Her carefully styled black hair fell forward as she leaned over Charlie. From the corner of my eye, I could see Jasper had pushed himself against the wall as the doctor peeked beneath bandages.

"Mr. Swan, I'm Dr. Shah. Can you blink for us? Once for no and twice for yes?"

He blinked twice.

"Wonderful. You're looking much better than you did yesterday, Mr. Swan," Dr. Shah said as she scribbled on the chart. "Do you know where you are?"

Twice.

"Do you know who this is?" She gestured to me.

Twice.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Once.

"You were in a severe car accident. It caused several broken bones, internal bleeding and brain swelling. Are you in any pain now?"

Twice.

"Can you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 by blinking?"

He blinked six times.

"A nurse will be in shortly to administer some pain relief for you. In a few hours, you'll be taken to radiology for a CT scan. I'll be back in to check on you before the end of my shift. As long as you are doing this well, we'll be able to get that tube out." Dr. Shah patted his arm reassuringly. She motioned with her hand for me to join her in the hallway. Jasper followed us out of the room.

"You are his next of kin?" she asked.

"I'm Bella, his daughter. I'm the only family he has in town."

"Your father is healing well. The swelling in his brain was causing his unconsciousness. The fact that he is awake is very encouraging. We'll know more about his injuries over the next couple days, but I'm happy with his progress so far. If he continues to improve at this rate, he'll be able to have surgery on his arm tomorrow," she said.

"I thought he had surgery yesterday," I said.

"He had surgery yesterday to correct the internal bleeding. That was the most pressing issue. His left arm will need to be surgically set, but that had to wait until his condition was more stable. The pain medication I'm ordering for him will most likely make him very drowsy. You should spend time with him now while he is lucid." She scratched at the chart more. "We'll also try to get him extubated late this afternoon."

"How long will he be at the hospital?" I asked.

"It's hard to say at this point. A week or two at the earliest. Do you have another adult to stay with? Your mother, perhaps?" She eyed Jasper suspiciously.

"I'm an adult," I said. The doctor nodded and shook my hand. She disappeared into the next room. Jasper and I walked back into Charlie's room.

A nurse came in after about twenty minutes and injected medicine in the IV line. My father drifted back to sleep soon after. Jasper stood behind my seat, his hands resting on my shoulders, while I watched Charlie sleep.

It was a little after nine when Jasper's phone vibrated. He stepped away from the bed to speak. He exchanged terse formalities before holding the phone away from his face and addressing me.

"Jacob's pack has agreed to meet with me. May we use your home as neutral territory?" he asked.

"When?"

"Noon today."

I nodded. "I want to be there, too," I added.

"That's acceptable," Jasper said into the phone. "Bella will be there as well." There was a pause, then he continued, "Those are the terms. If we're using her home, the least you can do is allow her to participate."

"Noon, it is then," he said as he slid the phone back into his pocket.

My spirits were lifted as Jasper drove us to my house. My dad would recover. The doctor and nursing staff were careful not to say that he would recover fully, but he would live. The nurse told me as we were leaving that the doctor makes her final rounds at 4:00pm. Whatever Jasper, Jacob, and the rest of the boys from La Push had to discuss would have to be wrapped up by 3:30pm so I could make it back to the hospital.

Then it hit me. They wanted to discuss the vampire responsible for putting my father in the hospital in the first place. The one possibly responsible for Harry Clearwater's death. The one that had been in my home.

On cue, Jasper reached out to take my hand. "One vampire is no match for me, let alone me and a pack of overgrown wolves. We will find her and take care of her," he said.

When he pulled up to the house, there were five large teenage boys sitting on the front porch waiting for us.


	18. Chapter 18 Mail Call

We all sat in a circle in my living room. I was in Charlie's favorite chair. Jasper was sitting on the arm of the chair, his hand resting on my shoulder. Jacob and his friends, or should I say "pack", crowded on the sofa and chairs dragged in from the kitchen. Someone had helped themselves to the sodas in the fridge and distributed them to the rest of the Quileute boys. Jacob made introductions, ending with Sam who he indicated as the leader with a slight bow.

Sam gave a stern look to Jasper. "Bella, how is your father?" he said without taking his eyes off the man beside me.

"Awake," I said.

"I am very sorry for the loss of Mr. Clearwater," Jasper said, unfazed by Sam's disdain.

"What is this about?" Sam asked.

Jasper leaned forward. "This is about a common enemy. The one responsible for the car has attacked us both, and it will only get worse."

"Why should we trust you?" barked Embry, sitting to Sam's left. Sam snapped his head around and let out a low growl.

"You should trust me because I am willing to tell you things about hunting vampires that you'd never imagine," Jasper said patiently. "This information will give you better tools to defend yourselves against those that would seek to destroy you."

"So what's in it for you?" Sam asked, clearly skeptical.

"Bella," he said. "One of the Cullens and I killed her mate. She blames Edward, and seeks Bella's life for retribution. There was a time, the time when you caught and destroyed the vampire Laurent that crossed into your territory, when Victoria tried to lure me away from Bella. She's desperate for revenge, far beyond any level of reasoning or logic. Her tricks will get wiser and more dangerous. More lives will be lost."

"Bella?" asked Sam as he suddenly turned to me. "Is this true?"

"Her mate, James, is the one that broke my leg last year." The night Laurent came to my house made sense now.

Sam leaned back and rubbed his temples. "What about the rest of you? How will we know which vampires are on our side and which ones to rip apart?"

"I am the only one l-" Jasper stopped mid-sentence and jumped to his feet to face the front door. Before the boys had a chance to stand with him, there was a knock.

My eyes grew wide with panic. "Death doesn't knock," Jasper whispered. He walked to the door and pulled it open. Standing on the other side was someone I never thought I'd see again.

"Alice?" I gasped.

"Bella," she said. Her voice was a beautiful as I had remembered it. I forgot for a moment that I had usurped her place by Jasper's side and saw only my friend. She walked right past him toward me. Almost running to her, I waved the now standing pack away and allowed her to wrap her arms around me.

"I never thought I'd see you again," I whispered into her neck.

"I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye," she replied. She pulled back and gave both Jasper and I a loaded look. "We'll talk later."

Alice had a way of walking into a room like she owned it, and that's precisely what she did. She scooted a TV Guide to the side and seated herself on the coffee table, right in the middle of the action.

I looked to Jasper, a sudden pang of guilt and panic hitting me in the stomach. His face was impassive, but he put his arm around my waist to pull me to him. He placed a quick kiss on my forehead and walked me back to Charlie's chair. There, he resumed his place by my side.

"You have bigger problems than just Victoria," Alice said.

The boys from La Push were visibly nervous, but a look from Sam sealed their lips. He looked from Alice to Jasper, his eyes demanding an explanation.

"Trust me, Fido. I _know _ things," Alice reassured him.

"She does," I said before Sam could ask more questions. "What are the bigger problems?"

"Victoria is spending time with Maria. They aren't coming, yet. Their plans keep changing, but they aren't good," she replied. My heart froze. I snuck a glance at Jasper, but his face was unmoved.

"Another vampire?" asked Sam. "Is this one after Bella, too?"

There was a pregnant pause, then Alice tactfully said, "She's trouble for everyone."

"She's ruthless," Jasper said. He looked into the eyes of each pack member as he spoke. "You're fooling yourselves if you think she would respect your treaty line. She's wiped out towns larger than Forks and your community combined in just one night."

Sam scowled. "Send Bella home with us. We'll protect here there and I can give you two men. Then the four of you can track the two vampires down."

"I agree," Jacob chimed in.

"No," I said.

"Agree with them," Alice said with a wink. "Just for a minute." Then she closed her eyes, prepared to go into her intuitive trance. But it didn't come.

"It's these dogs!" Alice exclaimed. "They're involved and I can't see anything!"

"We're involved because your kind came here!" boomed Sam. "If all of you just stayed the hell away, we'd be better off."

Jasper started murmuring to the pack, his influence diffusing the tension in the room. I heard the familiar click of the mailman dropping off the daily delivery. Nothing would be accomplished until Jasper calmed the pack, so I rose from my seat to check the mail.

The electricity bill was on top, and an envelope addressed to me in Jasper's perfect script was under that. I must have been delusional to ever imagine that Jacob could have written something so beautiful. I was surprised to find a small, light-weight package in the mailbox as well. It was a blue and white cardboard Overnight Mail envelope with no return address that bowed out a little at the sides. _Who would overnight something to me? _

I stepped back inside the house and put the envelopes on the table by the phone. I would open Jasper's after everyone cleared out of the house. I pulled the tab across the top of the blue and white envelope. I peeked it, and it looked like a skein of yarn was inside. I reached in to take it out, but once my fingers graced across the surface of the contents, I knew something was wrong. Very wrong.

"What is it?" Jasper asked. He had silently appeared next to me, his hand outstretched for the package. I handed it to him. My mind was sluggish. My stomach turned in knots, but I couldn't give words to what was happening.

Jasper pulled out a long braid of hair. Golden blond hair with pink streaks. The last time I had seen that hair was the night Jasper and I went to Seattle. The night she gave me her camera.

"Sandy," I whispered.


	19. Chapter 19 Tomorrow

I heard the voices fading downstairs. Alice was sitting on my bed, her hand resting on mine. I stared at the ceiling.

"They shook hands," she whispered. "The leader just promised to help Jasper."

"I thought you couldn't see the pack's future," I said.

"I didn't. I can hear them."

The door clicked shut downstairs, and Jasper whooshed into my room. Alice stood and let him take her place. She sat down in the chair in the corner. The one Edward used to sit in to watch me sleep. I couldn't think of that now.

"Is she alive?" he asked Alice.

"No. I'm sorry."

"Who did it?" I asked.

"Maria," Jasper answered. "I could smell her."

"Sandy didn't do anything." It wouldn't change anything, but I had to vocalize the unfairness of it all. "I've only met her in person twice. She didn't know anything about this. She was innocent. She was just kind to me, and for that she's dead."

"It's not your fault," Alice said.

"I know that," I snapped. "Even if it was, that won't bring her back."

"We need a plan," Jasper said.

"We need to know who they're going to hurt next." I sat up in bed and looked at Alice. She shrugged. "So either they haven't decided, or it's Jacob," I said.

"Jacob would be fine," Jasper reassured me. "He's not helpless, and he keeps strong company. He'll be fine."

"But we can't warn him?" I asked.

"The pack has already picked up on the seriousness of the situation." Jasper sighed. "We need to distract Victoria and Maria. We need them to fall into a trap."

"That means we need bait," Alice said. "The dog?"

"No. They know where he lives. Victoria has probably been on their land monitoring them. If something appeared to be out of the ordinary, they would just wait until another opportunity arose," Jasper said. "I have an idea."

Alice closed her eyes, following the consequences of his decision. "It's risky, but it looks like it will work."

Jasper turned to me and brushed his fingers across my cheek. "Bella, I want to call a friend of mine. I told you about him before. Peter?" I nodded, remembering the story of Peter and Charlotte. "I think that he could be useful as an ally and as bait. Maria still holds a grudge against him for leaving, and I'm hoping that he has the power to tease her out into the open."

"Call him then," I said. "I don't want your friend hurt, but I will not let Victoria or Maria kill me. If only because I don't want them to win."

He smiled and kissed me. I was unprepared for his lips pressing into mine, and they were gone before I could react. "That's my girl," he whispered in my ear. "You're thinking like a winner. We're going to defeat them."

Alice stood up and walked to the door of my bedroom. "They're about a day's run from here," she said.

"Then call Peter and tell him to gorge himself and start running," said Jasper. "I'll call him with further instructions later."

She nodded and started out the door. I held up my hand to stop her. She stopped and looked to me.

"Look Alice, I know this is weird for you," I said, gesturing between myself and Jasper. "Thanks for coming back."

She smiled softly. "You're still my friend, Bella. I've already lost my brother; I can't stand to lose you too. And Jasper may not ever be my friend again, but he'll tolerate me as long as you still care about me."

"Which brother?" I asked, but she had already vanished. I heard the door close half a second later.

Jasper reached for me and pulled my body close to his. His hand went to my hair, stroking it softly. I held on to him as hard as I could. Tears fell, and he didn't let go until they subsided.

"Are you OK?" I asked when I finally pulled away.

"I should be asking you," he said.

"No, I mean with Alice here," I said. Then I held my breath, waiting for his answer.

"It's good that she came. She'll be helpful with Victoria and Maria," he said. "And now I know that we've both moved on. Her mate was waiting outside nearby. And she's seen that I'm with you."

"So, she isn't upset?" I dropped my voice lower. "You aren't upset?"

"I know exactly where I belong," he said.

His lips met mine again. Instead of the chaste kiss from earlier, they lingered. I kissed him back. My fingers gently stroked his face. We were relaxed. We gingerly explored each other's mouths. It wasn't heated or urgent. We were soft, slow, and sensual.

Without breaking our embrace, he lowered me back down onto my bed. His hands were soft and comforting as they stroked my hair and back. My fingers slid up into his blond hair. It fell into ringlets as I ran my hands slowly through it.

I loved him.

I loved his steadfast devotion to me. I loved his lips, slightly parted, joined with mine. I loved his rough, cold fingers soothing the knots in my body. I loved the way he was always nearby when I wanted him to be, that he anticipated my needs.

I loved the way I felt when I was with him. It was like the world was crumbling to pieces, and his strong arms were holding me together. He was my soft place to fall, and the hand helping me back up.

"Bella," he whispered, releasing my lips. "I love you. I've loved you since that night at the bookstore when you saw the monster in me and didn't run away. I've never met anyone like you. You make me want to be a better man, to embrace my humanity."

"I love you too, Jasper," I said. "You make me want to be stronger. I'm not afraid to be myself when I'm with you."

"I'm terrified," he said and rolled onto his back. "Peter is my friend, but whenever he's visited since I've adopted my lifestyle...it's a struggle. What would happen if I lose control? What if you're near me and I can't control the thirst?"

Though I didn't doubt their truth, I was shocked to hear the words tumble from Jasper's mouth. His trust in me was explicit when he shared his fear with me. "First, you're selling yourself short," I said. "You're strong. You've been in a hospital with me, surrounded by blood, and nothing happened. And, of course, you can do this," I leaned up and caught his lips with mine.

"But you know that the reason I have that control is because of you," he said.

"Exactly," I said. "I'm not going anywhere. And I'll love you whether you're in perfect control or struggling. Whatever happens, we'll have each other."

"Darlin', I'm so lucky to have you," he said. He pulled me to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. It was strange how everything could be so wrong, but with him everything felt so right.

We went back to the hospital. The swelling was coming back in Charlie's brain. They were going to try a different type of medication to get it under control. Jasper and I stayed until visiting hours ended. He picked up some Chinese take-out on the way back to his house.

"Eat and then get some rest," he said. "You'll need your strength for tomorrow."

By the end of tomorrow, there would be two less vampires in the world.


	20. Chapter 20 Waiting

The sky was overcast, broad strokes of light gray painted across the heavens, and the wind was cold. I turned the collar of Jasper's oversized coat up against the biting chill as an enormous wolf brushed by my leg. Jacob was smiling at me, as best he could as a canine. I pulled Jasper's scarf up over my chin. I think I was wearing half his closet, in an attempt to mask my scent.

"Tell them to get closer to their land," Jasper told Jacob. The three of us, along with Alice, were standing at the edge of a clearing about 10 miles north of Jasper's house, waiting. Jacob was meant to be our radio for the rest of the wolves, giving them Jasper's marching orders. Alice was, as always, our early warning signal. Jasper was the radar, scanning the wilderness around us for signs from the bait: his friends Charlotte and Peter.

I'd met them only briefly that morning. Charlotte was beautiful. Her hair was so light that it seemed unnatural, and her features were small and delicate. She reminded me of a porcelain doll, except for the red eyes. Peter was tall and muscular, with long blond hair and a devilish grin.

"You'll get us all killed," I heard Peter tell Jasper as they stood on the front porch while I ate my breakfast in the kitchen. Alice had tried to make eggs, but she burned them beyond recognition and had cracked the window to let out the smoke. I had cereal instead. "It'll be a hell of a fun time, though."

"I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you'd be up for it," Jasper replied, his drawl more noticeable than before.

"I'm always up for a fight when you need me, Jasper. You know that," he said. "But you do understand that if anything happens to Charlotte that I'll tear you apart myself, don't you?"

"Expect the same if something were to happen to Bella."

"This human is the real deal?" Peter sounded surprised, but not condescending.

"She's more real to me than anyone ever has been. I look at her, and I'd be willing to walk through fire and tear the world apart just to keep her safe."

"You'd tear apart the world anyway," Peter said.

"It's different now," Jasper replied. "The way I feel now is the way I wanted to feel with Alice. And Maria. I knew I had it in me, but I still couldn't feel it. Now, I look at Bella and it's like looking into a mirror. I don't have to guess what being in love feels like anymore. I know, and I know she does as well."

Peter sighed. "She's human though, Jasper. I don't doubt your feelings. I've never seen you this worked up. But she's so fragile! What you have with her, you can't have it forever."

"Humans don't have it forever, either. But they enjoy it while they can." Jasper's voice had grown quieter.

Peter gave a low whistle and chuckled. "You gonna start writing poetry next, Jasper? C'mon. We're about to do risky and fun things. You can recite a sonnet later."

"I will, too," he said with a soft chuckle.

I smiled, remembering their good natured teasing. The joviality was over now. Jasper's eyes were shut, but his features creased with concentration as he scanned the forest.

"Charlotte found them," Alice said. "Or, she chose the right path and will meet them soon."

We had Jacob and the wolf pack on our side. We had Jasper and Peter, both very skilled and deadly vampires. We had Alice, with her premonition and speed. And we had her new mate (boyfriend? husband?) though I had neither met nor seen him. But if we were to be successful, it all came down to Charlotte.

"Should I call Peter yet?" Alice asked.

"Not until you see how they react to Charlotte," Jasper replied without opening his eyes.

A few moment, or several minutes, passed in silence. Then, next to me, Alice went stiff as she did when she was getting a vision.

_Charlotte is standing before Maria. She's still soaked with Peter's venom, and Maria can smell it._

_"One of mine?" Maria asks. "Or are you one of Jasper's?"_

_"Listen to me, Maria. I need your help."_

_Maria laughs. "My help? I ordered you dead decades ago, and I can smell Jasper on you. I can't think of a reason not to make you into a bonfire."_

_"If Jasper finds me, he'll kill me too, and not just because I just killed his best friend. I have information."_

_"Explain yourself," Maria says patiently._

_"You're here with Victoria, to kill the human girl named Bella, aren't you? They're planning something, and I can give you the details. In exchange for that and my physical assistance, you and Victoria protect me," Charlotte says._

_"Tell me why you would need protection from Jasper Whitlock. Last I knew, you were in debt to him for your life. Both you and your mate."_

_"Yes, I did owe him a debt. But he's asked so much, Maria. Over the years, Peter and I have came whenever he asked. Now, he's asked again. And we came. He wanted us to stay here and guard his human indefinitely. He wanted us to feed on animals, as he does. We'd be like pets. Guard dogs forced to survive on scraps. For how long? Until the human dies of old age?" Charlotte's voice is rising, and her breath is quickening. "So I told Peter 'no'. I told him that we'd done enough, and this was too much to ask. But he was devoted to Jasper. We fought and... I didn't mean to. I mean, I thought he would give up and walk away for a while. But once it got physical, I just couldn't control myself. Peter is... I...I didn't..." She chokes back a sob. "Peter is dead."_

_"You killed your mate?" Maria is no longer patronizing. Her mouth hangs open shock._

_"I didn't mean to!" Charlotte shouts. "But once I started, I just couldn't stop. I was so angry with him! We had our freedom, but we could never enjoy it. You don't understand."_

_"You don't have to justify murder to me," Maria replies. She sounds impressed._

_"Peter is dead. And once Jasper finds out, he'll track me down and kill me. So, in exchange for protection, I will tell you their weak spots. I will help you kill the human, and Jasper, because if you kill that human he will never stop hunting you down. Then, we'll part ways." Charlotte is breathing hard. If she could cry, tears would be rolling down her face._

_"You think I couldn't do this myself?" Maria asks._

_"You know Jasper. He won't stop. And he's such a warrior, he would be an easy match for two vampires."_

_Maria sighs. "It irritates me that he survives. Victoria was so desperate that she tracked me down and offered me three decades of service for my help with this, but I would have done it for one. He's wasted here, feeding on animals and trying to assimilate with the humans. It's like a human grazing with cows. Unnatural." She shrugs her shoulders. "Fine. I'll summon Victoria. Then you tell us everything you know."_

"That could not have gone better," Alice chirped. "That was seriously impressive."

Jasper gave a small nod, but didn't look back at Alice. Charlotte's words, though we knew them to be a ruse, still cut him. I pushed my hand into his pocket and intertwined my fingers with his. He sighed softly and gently squeezed.

Phase one was complete.

"Keep the pack south, Jacob. The wind is slowing down and we don't want their scent to drift," Jasper said. The wolf gave a grunt of assent.

By the time Alice's next vision came, my legs had grown tired and I'd taken a seated position at Jasper's feet.

"The three of them are together," Alice said in the deadened tone she had when the visions came. "Charlotte is telling them that Jasper has fallen out with the wolf pack and they're refusing to help each other." A pause. "She's telling them that I returned briefly only to turn around and leave once I discovered that Bella and Jasper were lovers." Another pause. "She's telling them that you plan to leave tonight for Alaska. And about the panic room. She's making sure they understand that you are at your weakest now."

Jasper opened his eyes and looked behind himself to Alice. His face was unreadable. When Alice's eyes flickered open, she smiled.

"They're coming."

Jasper flipped his phone open and dialed in a number. He switched on the speaker, but hesitated as he turned to hand it to me.

"I can do this," I said.

"Bella, the things they'll say. You'll never be able to forget them," he said.

"I can't fight. I can't manipulate them. I can't help in any other way. Please, let me do this," I said.

He smiled down at me. His features were soft with fondness. "I know you can," he said. With that, he handed over the phone.

The phone was connected to an intercom system that Jasper and Jacob had installed in his house sometime during the night. While I appreciated the sleep, I wished I could have been there to witness them working together. After the intercom, they reinforced the door to Jasper's basement.

"It doesn't have to be vampire proof," Jasper explained to me that morning. "It just has to be vampire resistant. Enough to slow them down and get them talking. Maria won't care either way, but Victoria will want to torture you." His voice grew harder. "She'll want you to be afraid. That's why she's been hurting people around you. She doesn't just want your life. She wants your happiness. Your sanity. Your hope."

This was my part in Jasper's plan. Ten miles away through his phone, I would talk to my tormentor as if I were trapped in a basement panic room while Jasper was out looking for Peter. Charlotte would convince Maria to come away with her to hunt Jasper while Victoria stayed behind for me. Then, with the two women separated, we would make our final move.

Through the phone, I heard a crash.

"They're here," I mouthed.

"Jasper? Is that you?" I called into the phone.

_"See? I told you he wouldn't be here," Charlotte said. "He's probably out looking for Peter."_

"Who is that?" I asked.

_"Where is the room?" asked another female. A voice like scratching glass. A voice I could never forget._

_"The basement. Come through here," Charlotte said._

Jasper leaned forward and whispered something to Jacob. I breathed heavily into the phone. I didn't know if the vampires would be able to hear it, but I didn't want to take the chance of Jasper's voice transmitting.

"Who is there?" I repeated, unnerved.

_"Oh, Bella." A knocking sound. Victoria was standing in front of the basement door. "I've been looking for you."_

_"I'll go around to the kitchen. If we can't get the door open, we can break through the floor," said a third voice. Jasper winced at Maria's cold tone._

"Who is there?" I shouted. "Whoever you are, Jasper will be back any minute."

_"What's the hurry?" Victoria asked. "If we kill her before I get to play, then where's the fun?"_

_"You aren't paying me to play with your food," Maria snapped. "Hurry up and get her over with so we can get ready for Jasper."_

_"I hired you for Jasper. The female was always mine," Victoria replied. Then she turned her attention back to me. "How is Jasper, Bella? Is he as good as Edward was? So quickly you moved on."_

"Victoria," I said.

_"Oh, you've been expecting me. Why don't you come out so we can talk? I have so much I want to make you say."_

"Leave me alone!" I said. "Jasper will be back with his two friends any minute."

_"I'm afraid that's not true," she replied. I could hear the smile in her voice. "You see, one of his friends is dead, and the other is already here. She's the one who told us you'd be here all alone. The pink haired woman was all alone, too. She even invited me in her home. She put on a kettle for tea, and I drained her dry before it even whistled."_

"Please. Stop." My voice caught. No, I wouldn't have to be an actress like Charlotte. My disgust for Victoria was very real.

_"I don't want to listen to this," Maria chimed in. "It's boring, and it's not helping us deal with the more dangerous of these two."_

_"We should go out and look for Jasper ourselves," Charlotte said._

_"Why?" Maria asked._

_"Go ahead," Victoria said. "I'd like some time alone with Bella, anyway."_

_"No," Maria said. "Two of us may be able to take him down, but three guarantees it."_

_"Bella, do you know how good your father tastes?" Victoria continued. "It was hard to walk away without finishing him off. That must be where you get it. The girl with the delicious blood."_

"Stop it!" I yelled. Jasper dropped to his knees next to me and rested his hand on my back.

_"We could at least see which direction he went," Charlotte said._

_"We're staying here," Maria said. "Victoria, move it along."_

_"Do you know what love feels like, Bella?" Victoria said. "Do you know what it feels like to have part of yourself walking around in another person? Edward risked his life coming to find you in Arizona. And here we are, less than a year later, and you've moved on. So fickle. I'd been with James for centuries. He pursued me, did you know that?"_

"He's the one that tried to kill me," I said.

_"Of course he did. You are food. You may keep company with vampires who forget who they are, but I know who I am. I know my place in the world, on the food chain. And soon, so will you."_

_"Maybe we could go on the roof? We could see him coming then," Charlotte said, trying again._

_"Why are you so keen on getting me out of the house?" Maria asked._

_"Oh, just go!" Victoria shouted. "I've been waiting for this moment, and you two can't appreciate the poetry happening here. I'm going to talk to her until she is crying so hard she can't breathe. Then I'm going to rip apart this house to get in that 'panic room' so that I can break every bone in her body before I drink her dry. You see? I can hear her sniffling now."_

"Jasper will come back for me," I said, my voice broken with sobs.

_"We should all go after Jasper first," Maria said. "After he's disposed of, Victoria can play with the human for days for all I care."_

_"She would escape," Charlotte said. Her voice was starting to show panic. Maria was not cooperating with the plan._

_"She's human. What is she going to do? We'd find her," Maria said reasonably._

"The wolves will come for me," I yelled. "They're my friends. If Jasper isn't here, they'll come." Jasper smiled at me, proud of my quick thinking.

_Maria cursed loudly as Charlotte backed up my story. "The wolves won't speak to Jasper, but if she called them and told them she was alone, they'd come."_

_"Something isn't adding up," Maria said._

Jasper leaned over to Jacob and whispered to him again.

_"You show up and tell us everything we need to know to get us here, and now you're trying to separate us. This doesn't feel right," Maria continued._

Alice slid her phone open and started texting.

_"Do you hear that?" Maria yelled. "She has a phone in there with her. We need to finish her and leave."_

_"No!" Victoria screamed. "I've waited too long for this!"_

_"Then good luck to you," Maria said. "I'm finished. Get yourself killed to avenge your mate, Victoria."_

Jasper stood up. "Now," he said.

Somewhere, miles south of where we stood, a pack of wolves heard his word in their heads.

Somewhere, maybe west of us, Peter and Alice's mate got a text.

Now, the battle would begin.

I can't say for certain what happened. I could only hear the commotion through the phone. The wolves arrived first. I heard the glass breaking and their low growls. Maria shouted curses as she fought them. Victoria, or at least I assume it was her, only pounded on the basement door.

Next, I heard Maria shriek Peter's name in surprise. Jasper had offered to let him sit out the fight, since they had drained so much venom from him to make the murder story viable, but he said he'd grab some (animal) breakfast and meet us at the party.

"I have to go help them," Jasper said.

"Please don't leave me," I said.

"They're dangerous. I can't ask my friends and your friends to risk their lives unless I'm willing to risk my own as well."

"But I don't want you to go," I sobbed.

"I know," he whispered. "Please, let me go anyway."

I looked up into his eyes. They were darker than normal, even though I knew he was well fed. He was shaking with anticipation, his features taut with fury. It wasn't just honor or fairness. Jasper needed to go. He needed to end Victoria himself. Quickly, so I wouldn't change my mind, I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his.

"I love you, Jasper," I said. "Come back to me, as quickly as you can."

"Before you'll get a chance to miss me," he said.

Then he was gone.

Jacob gave me a loaded look, and bounded after him.

I looked to Alice, and she smiled. "They'll be fine," she said.

"You saw that?" I asked.

"I know that," she said.

The battle raged on over the phone. I heard Jasper's voice bellow in rage when he arrived. Then I heard him yelling, "Bella! Alice!"

Alice jumped to her feet. Her knees were bent as she crouched ready to spring.

"What's happening?" I asked. But before she could answer, I saw a blur of red coming right for me.

The pain. Oh, the pain. I know the pain couldn't have started before I was bit, but I remember it like it did. The blur of red hit Alice at full speed. It was like two boulders colliding just in front of me. I scrambled to back away, but I was too late.

Victoria was too fast for me.

She caught my leg, my right leg just as James had done before her. Alice was clawing her back, and I heard the growls of the approaching wolves, but they were all too late. Victoria's teeth grazed my ankle as she was pulled away, and after that the only thing that existed in this whole world was pain. It was like being lit on fire, but rather than burning my skin the fire coursed through my veins.

I heard them rip her apart. The sound of tearing vampire flesh is like that of a car being crushed but wetter. My eyes were squeezed shut in agony, but I heard it all. I probably would have closed my eyes anyway.

"Bella!" Jasper's voice was husky from rage and overuse. "Where are you hurt?"

"Leg," I manage to cough. I thought I'd heard once that if someone experiences too much pain their brain would make them pass out. As a mercy. Where was my mercy?

"Alice!" he called.

"Damn!" she said. "Jasper, I tried. I tried my best."

"What do we do?" he said.

"Suck the venom out? Could either of us do that?" she asked.

"What happened?" Jacob's voice boomed.

"Bella's been bit," Alice said.

"Get back. Both of you. Get back!" Jacob yelled. "Your eyes. Get back!"

Then my brain finally showed mercy. I passed into oblivion.


	21. Chapter 21 Distant Starlight

When I woke again, it was dusk. I was in a soft bed in a room I didn't recognize. The sheets were white and pressed flat, like the kind one would find in a hospital.

Jasper was sitting next to me on the bed, his hand resting on my forehead. Only, it felt different. It felt warm, and soft. And his skin was more iridescent than I remembered. His scars peaked out from the collar line of his black dress shirt, and they seemed darker than before. His eyes were brilliant and his hair was shinier and absolutely angelic in the way the curls fell around his face.

Maybe I died, and this was heaven.

"Drink," he ordered. He held a cup to my face and pushed a straw between my lips.

I wanted to push the cup away, and ask him if he'd died too. I wanted to tell him about how much I loved him, and how death wasn't so bad if he were there with me. But the second he spoke, I was thirsty. Thirstier than I'd ever been before. My throat was screaming for moisture. So I drank.

And it was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted.

He smiled softly when I finished the whole cup in one long drink. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Awake," I said.

"And so you will be," he said. "Bella, do you remember what happened?"

"I died?" I asked.

"In a way," he said. "We tried, Bella. All of us tried. But Victoria got to you. She bit you. And there was no one there to get the venom out. By the time we got to you, it was probably too late for that anyway." He sighed. "Bella, I'm sorry. You've been changed."

"I'm one of you?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I remember Jacob. He wouldn't let you help me," I said.

"Jacob likely saved your life. Without Carlisle there to stop us, none of us could have saved you. I tried to be strong for you, Bella. But if Jacob hadn't kept us away..."

I pulled him down and kissed him. His lips were soft and warm, the way I imagined they were when he was human. His hand cupped my cheek and he let out a small moan.

"I need some time," I said, "but we'll figure this out. Won't we?"

"Together," he promised.

"Will you stay with me?" I asked.

"For as long as you want me," he said.

"How does forever sound to you?" I asked.

He grinned. "You still want a paper star every day of forever?" he asked as he pulled one out of his shirt pocket and dropped it into my hand.

"Who needs stars when I have you?" I asked.

I heard footsteps in the hall, and when they paused outside the door I gave Jasper a nod.

"Come on in," he said.

The door swung open, and standing in it was Edward. There was something different about him as well, and it wasn't just my sharp new senses. My stomach dropped a little. He paused, his mouth hanging open a bit, but he gathered himself.

"Jasper. Bella." He (unnecessarily) cleared his throat.

"What are you doing here?" I asked incredulously.

"Business," he said. His eyes glowed blood red.

"Vampires have a small government, you could call it," Jasper explained. "I'll tell you all about it later. Edward has joined them."

"You took a job with the government? No more repeating high school?" I asked.

"Part of my induction involved my memories being read," Edward said stiffly. "Of course, you were part of my memory. The government wanted to ensure that you either become vampire or..." He cleared his throat again. "I delayed the investigation as long as I could, but then I got a call about what happened. I'm here to make the official report, so your case can be closed."

"Why would they take your word for it? Aren't you too involved to be subjective?" I asked.

"As I said, they have their methods of ensuring accuracy," he said.

He gave me a brief examination, which included peering into my eyes, taking my pulse, and looking at the skin on my arm. He held my wrist in his hand after he finished, and looked up at me.

"Bella, I am sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have left."

"Thank you," I said. I didn't want to tell him that it was okay, because it wasn't. But if he hadn't, what would my life have been like? Would he have ran into the fire, the way Jasper did, for me? Would I have found myself the way I did with Jasper? Would I have ever listened to a jazz band or picked up a camera or learned to stand on my own two feet? Yes. The words "thank you" were perfect.

I smiled up at Jasper. He was gorgeous, and kind, and mine. Forever.

**Sixteen years later...**

The sun is bright, and I love the way it feels on my skin. I just finished eating (a bear that had been getting too close to town) and I could run back home, but the sun feels too amazing today. Besides, it's Jasper's turn to rock the baby.

Jasper has a way with a local attorney. I won't say what that way was, because I made it a point to stay uninvolved. Jasper calls it a "Good Cop Bad Cop" routine. Anyway, he set us up with a social worker. We've been foster parents for two years now, specializing in babies born to addicted mothers. These children struggle the most with establishing regular sleep patterns, but for two parents who don't require sleep this is rarely a problem.

The wedding was simple and beautiful, not long after I was turned. The honeymoon, and it was one hell of a honeymoon, lasted for a year. Jasper worried constantly that first year, so we kept to ourselves. He's seen so many newborn vampires and the havoc and chaos they cause. But he's never seen anyone like me. Turns out, my ability to keep my mind blocked from Edward was amplified after the transition. I had immense control over my bloodlust from the beginning, but Jasper wouldn't trust it completely until the one year anniversary came and went.

We still see the Cullens from time to time. Carlisle and Esme still travel with Emmett and Rosalie. Alice and her mate, Beau, travel with them off and on. Beau cannot pass for a high school kid, so they can't ever stay with the Cullens very long. Edward has gone his own way, though. He didn't come to the wedding, and we haven't seen him since the day I woke up as a vampire. Alice says that he keeps in touch with her, so I guess he just doesn't have anything to say to Jasper or me.

We visit with Peter and Charlotte as often as we can. We haven't had them over for the last two years, but we took a two week vacation last year to go to South America with them. Charlotte is probably my best friend. I owe her so much. She isn't as taken with the human things (family, art, music) and Jasper and I are, but she has an endless amount of stories about her life. And she's willing to listen to mine. Plus, she loves posing for pictures.

Renee doesn't know. Honestly, she hasn't made much time for me in the last sixteen years. She doesn't notice that I haven't aged when she does visit. I think I'll have to have the talk with her someday, but I'm putting it off.

Charlie knows. Well, he doesn't know that I eat frisky bears. He does know that something has changed, and I've changed. He knows that he'll never have biological grandchildren, but he's pretty thrilled to hold foster babies whenever he visits. Thanks to Jacob and his overzealous demonstration of the supernatural, Charlie knows that there is more going on in Forks than he realizes. But the Quileute boys don't phase much these days. All the vampires cleared out, so they are getting back to life as normal.

Jacob got married a few years ago. A pretty girl from the Reservation. They have a little boy of their own now. I was so terrified that he would never speak to me again after I changed, but he recognized the role he played in that. "If the only way for you to exist is for you to exist as a vampire, then I'd rather have you as a vampire than not at all," he'd said.

I walk up the back steps and enter our home through the kitchen. Jasper is in the family room, in the wooden rocking chair. A tow-headed little girl is wrapped in a blanket and curled up on his chest. He is humming some soothing tune, rocking her back and forth as the light from the window dances off his skin. He leans down and places a soft kiss on her tiny head. This man, who used to be so out of control that he couldn't sit in a car with the human me, can care for the most vulnerable among us now without an ounce of trepidation. This adventure, parenting or close to it, was not even in the realm of possibilities for either of us the night I woke up for the last time sixteen years ago. How far we've come.

Jasper looks up at me and smiles. His eyes are bright, and I know that he's thinking the same thing as I am. He can't wait for the sun to set so he can put the baby down to bed and take me out in our backyard. He wants to wrap up in a quilt, even though the night air can never cool us, and point out constellations to me. He's done it so many times over the years that I should have learned them all. And maybe I have. But that doesn't mean I don't want him to show me again. Because there is something solid and unwavering in the distant starlight.

**The End**

**Author's Note: Ladies, I did forget about this fiction for a long time. It's been a year since my last update. And you know what? When I opened the email account associated with FFN, I was shocked to see that people were still commenting and PMing me to ask about this fic. This is my very first fanfiction, and I never expected anyone to read it really. I can't tell you how much it warms my heart that it wasn't forgotten by all of you. So please accept my sincere apology and my honest love. It has been an honor and a pleasure. **

**P.S.**  
**I hope this ending wasn't too sentimental. This image of Jasper rocking a baby in the sunlight was one of the very first things I imagined when I came up with this fic. This was always the way it was going to end. **


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